When I think of equality in marriage, I simply think ‘‘why not?’’
Why shouldn’t all Australians have the same rights to marry, whoever they choose?
Discrimination makes no sense and does not serve anyone well. The vast majority of Australians do not tolerate discrimination - not in education, not in health provision, not in employment - so why tolerate it in marriage?
Marriage equality is primarily about ending social exclusion and giving all Australians the same basic rights, the same human rights. In countries where same-sex marriage has been legalised, such as the Netherlands, Belgium, Norway, Spain, Canada and South Africa, the sky has not fallen in and society has not broken down. Gay and lesbian people have simply formalised their union and publicly stated their love.
Families and especially parents want what is best for their children. Regardless of what people believe is right for themselves, parents with gay or lesbian children want them to have the same rights as all others. So do many others.
When we allow discrimination, it hurts people. It often means that vulnerable people are targeted. I work with young people and families, and in my work I see that a lack of equality can have strong links to mental health issues among young people who are attracted to the same sex.
I want to see an end to the unnecessary stigma and isolation that another generation of young Australians could face.
Just because we have always done something does not make it right. Tradition should not be used as an explanation or an excuse not to change something that is unfair or wrong. Traditions can be what excludes people and keeps people in situations that are not in the best interests of a safe, fair and positive community. Think about times when dowries were paid for marriage, or when women didn’t have the vote, or when equal pay for women was unheard of, or when Aboriginal people could not vote, and when we locked up refugees, including children, when they sought safety in Australia.
Change is needed, and a progressive and positive society depends on it. If we waited for consensus in public opinion on all these matters, nothing would change. In every case where change happens, it has been started by brave people challenging something. We should congratulate our politicians and leaders when they speak out.
It is clear that public opinion is changing in Australia. Recent Galaxy Research polling showed a significant advance, with 75 per cent believing reform is inevitable, and 80 per cent of young people (18-24 years) supporting marriage equality.
Everyone is entitled to their view, but should individual points of view prevent us from delivering on all human rights or prevent us from extending the same rights of marriage to everyone? I hope not.
I would encourage people to put aside what they want for themselves and think more broadly about equality, fairness and dignity. Equality is not a half-measure. We cannot say we support equality but not for certain groups. Equality is something you have or something you do not have.
I believe it diminishes ourselves as individuals and as a community if we oppose the progression of such rights. I believe it makes a better, stronger, more cohesive and safe society if we all oppose discrimination, if we all oppose treating people differently because of gender, race, religion or sexual preference.
Narelle Clay is CEO of Southern Youth and Family Services Association
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