Opinion 
 Blogs 
 Slice of Life 
 Adding insult to my injuries 

Adding insult to my injuries

What a treat for us arthritic sportspeople to see in the Australian Open that illness and injury is at last the new black.

It was a daily parade of the walking wounded who shone not for winning but literally how they survived the game.

Enduring long games in searing conditions was one thing but to do it winged or winded was reason for celebrating dogged determination.

Nothing said it more than the men's final, when we watched in awe as Nadal, niggled by knee injuries from the outset and Djokovic, a recovering hayfever victim, limped into the history books with a record marathon.

Djokovic later said: "You're going through so much suffering your toes are bleeding. Everything is just outrageous, you know, but you're still enjoying that pain."

The highlight for me, though, was in the fourth round, when Kimmy Clijsters, trussed like an Ingham chicken with an ankle injury, smashed Li Na's hopes.

Clijsters initially looked a goner but somehow rose above the agony at a crucial point in the game and forged ahead to a win.

I was trying to channel those admirable qualities the next night when I met my mate, Pete, for our weekly squash swotfest.

Pumped with the knowledge that pain is power, I went out of my way to exhibit every twinge.

My usual wristband to ease a long-standing weakness is beige, which screams shame and camouflage.

On this night I made the strapping from a fluorescent orange band of lycra and did the same on my left knee.

The piece de resistance was the Bunnings tool belt slung low on my hips and filled with an asthmatic's puffer, a box of Band-Aid, some Deep Heat and an EpiPen for good measure.

I walked on to that court on a cloud thanks to the two gel pads in my shoes to support fallen arches.

Pete sensed a change and went on the offensive but it made no difference because my confidence level was through the roof.

Everything about me screeched Sharapova-style "I am in pain and proud", as I scooted around at breakneck speed.

My usual 3.5km/h serves blew out to double that speed and there was no ball too far, too high or too fast to chase down.

By now Pete, boringly injury-free, was getting frustrated and retaliated by walloping a wall shot straight into the left corner, thinking he was home free.

No way! I adjusted my tool belt and took off, almost knocking him to the ground.

"Out of my way, I'm coming through," I bellowed.

One, two, three huge strides and I was there - then everything went black.

When I came to, a man with gingerish hair was leaning over me and in my groggy state I thought it was Jim Courier rushing in with a microphone to quiz me about my glorious win and my chances in the finals.

But no, it turned out to be Lloyd, an ambulance paramedic, dispatched to treat the goofball who had miraculously reached an impossible shot but who didn't factor in the concrete wall.

"You've got a nasty case of concussion and we're moving you to Emergency for a scan and observation," he said.

What would Kimmy do in this undignified situation?

I limply lifted my hand to what felt like a watermelon on my forehead and then looked over at my racquet, contorted into a shape I'd never seen before.

There was only one thing to do and it didn't involve anything remotely connected to courage under fire.

I closed my eyes as they lifted me on to the stretcher and played dead.

Print
Increase Text Size
Decrease Text Size
Page:
1

comments


No comments were posted for this article.
Slice of Life
Each new day is full of promise and it's the small things that make or break it. So join us to share a tale, air a gripe and have a laugh because you can bet we know what you're going through.
Photo: NICOLAS WALKER
Photo: NICOLAS WALKER

Most popular articles




Illawarra Mercury







Weather brought to you by:

Weatherzone

Classifieds

Front Page

Current Issue
Privacy Policy | Conditions of Use | Advertising Terms | Copyright © 2012. Fairfax Media.
 SEND...
 SAVE...
 SHARE...