All creatures agreed that the grub had been grouse.

The stockings were flung to the floor without care,

For no unwrapped presents remained within there.

The children, unsettled, are leaping off beds

For too many sugar-plums messed with their heads.

And Mum in her nightie and Dad on the throne

Are chewing the leg ham right off of the bone.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

Mum sprang from her chair to see what was the matter,

And found Uncle Ted being licked by the dogs

(She'd forgotten he'd passed out while still in his togs).

Now Berocca! Now coffee! Now cold shower and slaps!

Oh Sorry! Oh Pardon! Oh too many schnapps!

To the top of regret! The side of the wall!

Now slink away, slink away, slink away all!

And then in a twinkling, they heard on the roof

The Ghost of Past Spending, with credit card proof!

"How much have I spent?" Mum inwardly rails,

"I'll buy some resolve at the Boxing Day sales!"

For Santa had been very jolly this year,

with Wiis and i-Phones and top-branded gear,

A bundle of fun he had brought in his sack

All swapped for a cookie and half a six-pack.

The kids had been thrilled - but just for the day

For then the fights started; the Wii went away.

"We're bored!" the cry sounded and Dad rolled his eyes

And noticed his belly was twice its old size.

He spoke not a word but went straight to the gym

And signed up for next year - a new man was him!

And laying a finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod - sweet delusion he chose!

He sprang to the couch, to the plasma he turned

One last week of pleasure he silently yearned,

And Mum heard him groan, as the day became night,

"Why the bloody hell does Gary bring an esky if it's only got three beers in it but he is happy to drink 10 of mine?

And if you think I'm having your mother here again next year, then you are on smack."

carrieon@bigpond.com

Carrie Cox is a journalist, author and mother who one day wants to finish a cup of coffee while it's still hot.