Of all the special features of those remote controls clogging up the coffee table, nothing beats the good old TV mute button.
Especially when it comes to the Australian Open.
The tennis is brilliant for the most part, but would someone in officialdom please push for new rules that punish players for deliberate and unnecessary grunting.
Yes, players exert a lot of energy and power when they’re thrashing away from the baseline and noises are inevitable to an extent.
But a small minority has taken it too far and the boundaries of sportsmanship might be being stretched.
Take blonde-haired, blue-eyed Maria Sharapova, a particular favourite among male spectators.
Easy as she is on the eye, the long-legged Russian has simply become unbearable to watch unless the volume is down to zero.
So loud is Sharapova that Channel 7 used a ‘‘gruntometer’’ to measure the decibel level of her ear-splitting screams in her fourth-round match with Germany’s Sabine Lisicki.
The gruntometer first appeared at the 1992 Wimbeldon championships and was used on former world No 1 Monica Seles.
But Seles’ PB of 93.2 decibels is relatively tame compared to Sharapova’s world record of 101 decibels.
There were moments during Monday night’s three-set win over Lisicki when her exaggerated screams seemed like a delayed reaction.
If it’s off-putting to hear it on television, it must be a torturous distraction to hear her vocal emissions when you’re standing on the other side of the net - no matter how focused the opponent.
Thousands of players have come and gone before Sharapova and they all managed to keep their noise to an acceptable level.
If it’s too late to do anything about her shouting now, hopefully junior coaches around the world are make sure their proteges don’t copy Sharapova.
Like everything in sport, rules should be the same for everyone and no exceptions should be made.
In the meantime, maybe Maria can stuff a sock in her mouth every time she plays.
Speaking of changes in tennis, can players stop raising an apologetic hand every time a shot hits the net and drops over.
If the same shot hits the tape and doesn’t make it over, you never see the other player waving a hand with an ‘‘oh bad luck’’ gesture.
Once and for all, people, the net is part of the game. Get over it.
And finally, will someone tell Bruce McIvaney to stop talking about every Channel 7 ad/promo.
It’s bad enough we have to sit through annoying reminders about terrible shows without Brucey boy’s gushing.
And another thing, Bruce. Enough with the ‘‘doesn’t he’’ and ‘‘isn’t he’’ and ‘‘wasn’t he’’ every time you want Jim Courier to agree with what you’re saying.
Seriously, you’ve been doing the job long enough that you should be confident in what you say without actually asking for confirmation from your colleague in the broadcast booth.
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