''Along the way I had to work out what the hell I was going to say at this press conference.''

Word spread so fast that the next morning, about 100 friends and family turned out for Brown's personal September 11, a fronting of the media scrum at the Kiama Blowhole Point.

''When I got there, my niece Ruby jumped out of my sister's arms and into mine,'' Brown said. ''It's really hurt me the way the media portrayed her.

''I was having to drag her over and as soon as the media were taking pictures I handed her back. She was hugging my leg and she was still there when I ended.

''I picked her up because it was actually quite dangerous and handed her immediately to a friend so she wouldn't be part of the story.''

Nevertheless, Ruby held in the arms of her uncle Matt became the defining image of that press conference - the clash of two worlds, the private and the public.

These days, Brown has shipped out the infamous maroon leather couch on which the dancing did (or did not) occur along with the lounge chair, an ornate wing-armed chair that replaced the dog-eared standard issue furniture.

He's moved from a suite on the eighth floor of Parliament House to a poky single backbencher room overlooking the Domain on the 11th floor.

''I have to get used to doing things at a different pace and a different level,'' Brown said. ''It's like travelling in a car at 110km/h on the freeway and then you hit the school zone at 40km/h.

''That's how I am feeling at the moment and that 40km/h zone doesn't seem to be ending in the near future. For a workaholic and Type A personality like me, that's difficult.''

What's immediately clear to anyone who's followed the career of the 36-year-old former Kiama High School captain, corporate lawyer and owner of 18 properties around Australia is that he is not the man he once was.

Gone is the ready smile and the energetic, almost puppy-dog, confidence that could easily be mistaken for arrogance. The sparkle in the eyes has gone, replaced by a kind of dull grief and a grim determination to make the best of things.

''This was a total road crash where a lot of what you believe gets ripped out from you. You question yourself unnecessarily,'' he said.

''Then you have the physical and emotional side effects. You have difficulty sleeping, your voice sounds a bit different. It was really, really hard to get out.''

His discomfort was clear for all to see at his first community engagement nine days after his resignation, at the Kiama Regional Wine Show.

''He looked sheepish and a little bit embarrassed,'' said one guest. ''It was probably brave of him to even front up.''

The events of the past couple of months have been far more than a minor setback for Brown. They may have signalled the end of his political career, ended hopes of succeeding Jennie George in the Federal seat of Throsby and forced him to reassess himself, and the people around him.

A poll published in the Mercury a few weeks after his downfall showed his primary vote had more than halved, from 51 per cent to just 23 per cent. Men judged him particularly harshly - just 15 per cent would vote for him, compared to 31 per cent of women.

However, all may not be lost.

Premier Rees said Brown had learned ''a very hard lesson'' but left the door open for a return to the front bench.

''He needs to work hard with the people of his community and the people of this region to rebuild his credibility,'' Rees said.

''Most Australians expect that someone can make a mistake in life and that they should be given a chance to earn their stripes again.

''Matt is under no illusions about the job he has in front of him. He does work very hard and he has always worked very hard and I expect him to redouble his efforts to win back the support of his community.

''My observations since the event is that he is working extremely hard.''

The wheel of fortune may yet turn again.

Brown moved with his family to Kiama as a young boy after his father secured a teaching position at Berkeley High.

He was a ''very skinny, weedy little kid'' who remembers his father losing patience with him because he couldn't swim the width of the swimming pool.

Then his school doctor diagnosed a hole in the heart and he spent his seventh birthday in hospital, undergoing life-saving surgery that his parents could only afford because his dad was in the teachers' union.

It was the beginning of a political consciousness that saw the importance of education, health and union welfare.

But then his parents split up and his father moved up the coast, leaving Brown to be raised by his mother in his formative teenage years.

It was a time when Brown was bullied for his differences, but it ended in a victory that foreshadowed his later career - his peers voted him school captain.

''Those bullying experiences toughened me up, ''Brown remembered. ''Kids are mean and I don't think they realise how awful they can make life for others.

''It breaks my heart when my son comes home in tears because of names he has been called.''

He recalls with pride the work he did as school captain to fight bullying at school and realised the importance of achieving power to instigate change.

''I have always tried to put myself in as strong a position as possible so I am in a position to help others and make them strong,'' he said.

''It's making those little differences to people's lives that is still giving me a kick.''

While at school, he attracted the attention of his political mentor, former Kiama MP Bob Harrison.

Harrison first saw him at a graduation ceremony at Kiama High School and was so impressed, he groomed him as his successor when he retired in 1999.

''That's when he was school captain and he made a speech and I remember thinking `he's pretty good, this bloke, he's got a bit of style, a bit of ability'," Harrison said.

Harrison correctly predicted a ministerial career for his protege, and expressed regret after the downfall.

''I'm sad to see what has happened to Matt. He had a bright future ahead of him," he said. ''He could repair his reputation but it would take some time.''

After completing a maths/law degree at University of Wollongong, Brown ran Amigos Restaurant with his wife, Debbie, for a few years and started his burgeoning property portfolio with a flat a Mangerton when he was just 21.

But the relationship split when their son, Isaac, was young and the pattern of public success and personal turmoil continued.

Yet if Brown has learned anything from his downfall, it is the old truth that family and friends are always the ones to choose over work colleagues and political allies.

He also discovered that plenty of people felt a strong enough affection to send him messages of support - cards, letters, emails, even food.

''I curse the scumbag that felt the need to report something that occurred at a PRIVATE party,'' read one of about 200 messages that Brown keeps in a folder.

Gerry McInerney was one of many to put his support in writing.

As a small businessman and president of the Pharmacy Association of NSW, he's not an obvious Labor mate.

''We all make mistakes and I don't suggest this is something to be taken lightly,'' he said.

''But I would think that this is his first blemish and he is a supreme politician.''

He would be sad to see Brown go and stressed that he made no judgement about what happened on that night, except that the facts were unclear.

Even his Liberal opponent at the last election, Ann Sudmalis, was reluctant to make political capital out of the affair, even praising Brown's performance as a politician.

''I have never been negative towards Matt as an individual,'' she said.

''He is always pleasant, polite and congenial.''

While Brown has committed to staying on, he talks of finishing projects rather than starting them and reveals that he has had tempting offers from the private sector.

''The hardest thing for me at the moment is the future,'' he conceded.

''I have normally set my sights on very defined goals and work towards them. For one of the first times in my life, I don't have that.

''Coping with not having a clear direction is very tough for me. People who know me can see that there's something not quite there that was there before.''

There's a sense that Brown's life is now far from easy, but that he will bounce back eventually because he has ability beyond politics and is buoyed by people who believe in him.

''I am proud of who I am, I like who I am,'' he said.

''We all have character flaws and one of mine is my trusting nature which was a part of my downfall.

''I know that time heals wounds and I know the sun will come up tomorrow and there's still a lot to live for.''