Late at night, alone in his parliamentary office, Paul McLeay engaged in moments of "self-indulgent stupidity" which may have cost him his career.
In an exclusive interview with the Mercury, the Heathcote MP appealed to voters to grant him a second chance after he quit the front bench in disgrace on Wednesday.
The resignation followed revelations he repeatedly visited porn and gambling sites on his work computer.
"I don't want to get into the sordid details, but suffice to say I'm very embarrassed and humiliated by it all," an emotional Mr McLeay said yesterday.
FOR FULL COVERAGE SEE SATURDAY'S MERCURY
Region's MPs bypassed in favour of Eric Roozendaal
Premier Kristina Keneally resoundingly snubbed the region's four MPs yesterday, appointing Treasurer Eric Roozendaal to the role of Minister for the Illawarra.
Filling the void created by the hasty resignation of Heathcote MP Paul McLeay, Ms Keneally handed his junior portfolios to existing Cabinet members, overlooking the Illawarra's stable of willing backbenchers.
The eastern suburbs-based Mr Roozendaal will add the Illawarra and Ports and Waterways responsibilities to that of Treasurer and Minister for State and Regional Development.
Primary Industries Minister Steve Whan takes on Mineral and Forest Resources, and Shellharbour MP Lylea McMahon will step into the newly created position of parliamentary secretary for the Illawarra.
Mr Roozendaal, an upper house MP, promised to work closely with Illawarra MPs, naming job creation, youth unemployment and regional transport as key challenges facing the region.
But as scandal-weary voters reel from the Illawarra's third ministerial resignation this parliamentary term, our new voice in Macquarie St yesterday declined to sign a pledge to uphold the integrity of public office.
Instead, he offered his own promise.
"I understand and appreciate the concerns of the families and business of the Illawarra," Mr Roozendaal wrote in an email to the Mercury.
"I will fight hard for the region in Cabinet to cement the Illawarra's position as a key driver of the $400 billion NSW economy."
A spokeswoman for Ms Keneally did not respond to questions about why Illawarra MPs were sidestepped, but said Mr Roozendaal's existing ministerial roles made him a "triple whammy" for the region.
Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell said backbenchers had been ignored to avoid choosing a candidate and exposing Labor's factional divisions.
"The Keneally Labor government remains hopelessly divided, and the last thing NSW needs is more factional brawling and instability," Mr O'Farrell said.
Ms McMahon said Mr Roozendaal's appointment would give him direct sight lines to the Illawarra projects most in need of Treasury funding.
Wollongong MP Noreen Hay said Mr Roozendaal had proved a good ally to the region by delivering $30 million for the new WIN Stadium grandstand.
Asked whether she had held out hopes for the job, Ms Hay replied: "It doesn't pay to suffer from disappointment."
Keira MP David Campbell, in line for a return to the front bench after his shock resignation in May, said the decision not to add to the ministry's numbers reflected government efforts to streamline its administration.
Kiama MP Matt Brown welcomed the appointment and said he had not been vying for the job.
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