Have you ever been put down to the point where you have felt very small?Most of us have. But for some people it happens every day, at the office, among friends or at home.Emotional abuse is insidious and often as damaging as its much-publicised physical counterpart. The difference is the scars exist on the inside.So how do people deal with an issue that is often hidden or written off as unimportant?University of Wollongong psychology lecturer Dr Gerard Stoyles says education and awareness are the first steps to identifying and dealing with emotional abuse."There needs to be education and information as to what constitutes abuse (because) people get the idea that abuse is only physical, not emotional or psychological, and that's not always the case," he says."On the outside it can look quite incidental or socially acceptable, but it can be done in such a way that it can damage people emotionally and really get to a person."No-one is immune from emotional abuse, whether it be from a boss, colleague or partner.It often occurs when there is a power imbalance within a relationship, and one person callously decides to use that imbalance to their advantage.The abuse can take many forms but it is generally very subtle, making it extremely difficult to detect unless victims speak out.The sticking point, however, is that victims often feel so worthless they are incapable of speaking up."If someone bullies or intimidates (a person) until they no longer feel powerful, it keeps that (person) in a position of being under the thumb of the abuser," Stoyles explains."Abuse is far more debilitating when the victims have no form of recourse. If people put them down and there is emotional pain that arises from that, it takes away the voice."And being abused is, in many cases, a self-fulfilling prophecy. It actually feeds (the victim's) feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness and they then project that onto other areas of their life."University of Wollongong Associate Professor in Employment Relations Di Kelly says it is quite common for people to experience emotional abuse at work.Kelly, who has been studying in the field for decades, says a lot of workplace bullying falls under the category of abuse."Most bullying is psychological abuse," she explains."There are a whole range of behaviours (that constitute psychological and emotional abuse) from not telling people about meetings, to fear and smear campaigns. It is basically anything that intimidates, offends, insults or humiliates people."Many forms of emotional abuse are subtle and victims often find it hard to report the abuse without appearing oversensitive."A lot of bullying, whether by children in a playground or people in the workplace, is stuff that when you describe it, it sounds petty. And it's not petty at all," Kelly says."Not telling people about meetings - which I have seen happen - and then going around saying they didn't even bother to make it to that meeting, that's malicious and potentially quite damaging."If people are subject to emotional abuse in the workplace, Kelly recommends they keep a diary of negative events and find someone within the work structure to confide in.They should also let the bully know that they are not happy with the situation.In some cases the bully might not have realised the damage they were causing and might genuinely change.Unfortunately, most emotional abuse is intentional and is very difficult to address if the victim has no means for recourse."If the one person who is making your life miserable is your supervisor then you've got to move to a different workplace (because) there's not a lot of opportunity to stop that bullying," Kelly says."All the literature says get out - I've been trying to find a solution for years."Within the home environment children are usually the most vulnerable to emotional abuse.Stoyles says, regardless of the situation, if someone is being abused they should seek help.