If you are a parent and it is your first go at Schoolies, smile, lean back, close your eyes and enjoy.
The very real chance is that it won't hurt you a bit.
Except if you have helped your son or daughter pay the grand or two it will cost them for a bed, a carpet, a fridge, a television and a view.
It will cost others a lot more, and some, even less.
But hey, if you've paid, you'll feel it.
And if your "schoolie" has helped pay for it, it's a lesson well learnt.
Just mention to them it is never a good idea to stand really close to railings in high-rise apartments.
This will, of course, help you sleep.
Particularly after some of the accidents around Gold Coast Indy time.
Here a few things a parent can look forward to during schoolies:
The big shock – straight to the heart – is that your son or daughter has finished Year 12.
That is the real thing. Twelve years of driving to netball, circus classes, touch football, art shows, dance classes and friends' sleepovers.
Modern History essays at 2am; biology and the characteristics of ectoplasm.
From the sonnets, to the classicists; from the the beat poets to Bob Dylan; from Paul Kelly to Eminem and beyond. Evolution and English.
Those P and C meetings to help build a school hall, basketball court, tennis courts – all simply pushed aside. Where did all that time go?
Here is another tip.
Don't watch the nightly news, just check in once a day.
This will also help you sleep.
There will be images of drunk teenagers and screeching, over-excited faces bouncing around on the sand as loud music pumps them from here to oblivion.
Don't think about trying to spot your child. Best not to worry about it, until the police – or your child – calls.
And it is very, very, very likely they never ever will.
In Queensland your son or daughter will have a ball with their friends in an apartment overlooking one of the best views in Australia.
They will scream and shout, drink a bit, carry on like idiots a lot, go swimming a bit, lie in the sun a lot, dance a lot, drink a bit more and show off a bit. Let's face it a lot.
They will spend money, but not as much as you think.
A lot of things are free, as they say about the best things in life.
If you trust them now, you can trust them tomorrow, wherever they will be.
Smile, lean back, relax and remember how you – and they – got there.
If you can't trust them now, trust in Red Frogs.
And here's somewhere to help.
Good luck. It will all be over in a week.
Tony Moore's second daughter travels to Schoolies this weekend.