Hi. My name is Keeli, and I have watched The Bachelor. It's been five days since my last viewing, but I'm determined to earn my seven-day badge without sneaking a peak at the perfect pectorals, glorious glutes and amazing abs of this season's unwed warrior.
It's a terrible admission. And I do have an excuse. The kids made me do it. When we lost transmission from the ABC and SBS last week, it was either play another game of Bananagrams or turn on the commercial weekday TV.
At 7.30pm, without the delightful Sarah Ferguson to inspire me, I tuned into the beatific Blake and his bevy of beauties all vying for his undivided attention.
What worries me is that there seems to be a normalisation of this type of matchmaking and young girls are being encouraged to rely on their looks rather than their intellect.
The exposure to such bad TV, however, was also an educational experience, and one that I hope I can take something from to teach the young men and women whom I often have the privilege of associating with in various schools.
The Bachelor was a lesson in sociology that I didn't think I needed, but I'm glad I made the time to take. It gave me an insight into the reasons behind the things young girls in high school now do.
I know I've been down this path before, lamenting the death of feminism, of young women who aspire to be more than an attractive accessory to a well-heeled man.
But it wasn't until I witnessed in full technicolour glory, or should I say gory, with sound bites and action replays that I realised what a battle it is for bright young girls to shrug off the mantle of the mundane and fight for their right to be recognised for their minds, not their mammary glands.
I'm sure the women who have vied for their position on The Bachelor have more to offer this year's single-and-seeking-love lad than fawning and faux fantasies of five minutes alone with him to push their own agendas. Surely this is not what today's men are looking for? Or is it?
A recent social experiment in China decided to test the theory of just what smart, savvy women will do to seduce a man who is all show and no substance.
They kitted out an ordinary bloke with a shiny new Lamborghini and sent him off to see how many women would get into his car no questions asked.
Rather than size up his demeanour, assess the situation and weigh up the risks, every woman he approached while behind the wheel of the flashy Italian motor didn't look past the suggestion of money before sliding into the front seat and offering him more than their phone number.
When they sent the same chap out with the same pick-up lines, but this time in a fuel-saving, cost-efficient Hyundai, his face was slapped more times than smooched proving that even in a nation where net worth is still a relatively foreign concept, women are prepared to look past faults and fallacy for the ultimate pay-off.
I suppose I could look at it from a different perspective and feel some sympathy for the male species who are now viewed as not much more than a path to prosperity rather than a life partner with whom to share the good times and the bad.
Perhaps I'm too cynical. Not all young women are willing to hide their light under a bushel, and not all men are after someone who is there only to boost their ego.
But what worries me is that there seems to be a normalisation of this type of matchmaking and young girls are being encouraged to rely on their looks rather than their intellect.
For me, I'm deciding to go cold turkey. No more bachelors and no more beauties. Bananagrams with the boys sounds much more a-peeling (sorry, I had to do it).