A Newcastle café owner sparked a social media war with a provocative Facebook post in response to a customer that accused her eatery of not being child-friendly.
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Her post/rant – which indicated that her café was, in fact, not child-friendly – went viral, reigniting a not-so-new debate about whether parents should take their children to cafes.
Sigh. These divisive 'mummy wars' serve no purpose other than to make parents feel alienated. Fact: most parents who take their children to cafés are on high-alert, quick to respond to unruly behaviour and ready to pack their pram and depart with precision speed should the well-behaved child suddenly turn.
So to all those who have jumped on board the opinion cycle to point the finger at parents fordeigning to participate in regular society, let us pause and remember that gloriously inclusive Sesame Street tune, In Your Neighbourhood. Yep, a child is a person in your neighbourhood. A little person who is learning to socialise in yours and my neighbourhood. But if lessons from old-school Sesame Street fail to rouse your sensitivity, a change of tactic…
Here are the 10 most annoying cafe types
1. Raucous businessmen – belching pigs swilling red wine on their lunch break and swearing like sailors; their thunderous laughter and ribbing of companions' long-winded tales is like bad theatre.
2. Cackling women en masse – I know you're excited to see the girls, but please – you're not a character from Sex and The City, so save the tawdry gossip for hens' parties.
3. Corporate upstarts and lunchtime business meetings – the tailored shirt brigade loudly and proudly discussing their portfolios so we all think they're like, super important. I don't care about your inane projections. Save it for the boardroom.
4. Novel-clutching single diners nabbing tables for six during peak hour – any sane business operator would prefer a family with children when it comes to settling the bill.
5. The student/freelancer freeloader – paying for two cups of coffee does not buy you free Wi-Fi, complete silence and a table for the day. Just sayin'.
6. Difficult customers – the sort that give wait staff a hard time because the food was too cold/too slow/not what they ordered, then go on about it for the whole time they're there. Just go.
7. Phone freaks - people who talk on the phone while sitting less than a metre away from you – here's a hot tip: you can't hear the person on the other end of the phone because YOU'RE AT A BUSY CAFÉ. The reason they can't hear you is because YOU'RE AT A BUSY CAFÉ. Talking louder won't help. Go outside.
8. Table stealers - people in queues staring at you like they're an extra on a zombie apocalypse movie, because they want to grab your table when you're done … disconcerting when you've just taken your first bite.
9. Bill-splitters – all that time spent going back and forth with dining companions to work out who had what so they're not out of pocket by more 20 cents. Spare us all the cringe-worthy maths lesson.
10. Boundary-less people who befriend you from neighbouring tables – it's hard for me to keep an eye on my brood and drink my coffee before it goes cold when you're in my ear wanting to rehash the news of the day. Worse yet, when your views are at extreme odds with my beliefs and/or you're clearly parroting other peoples' opinions. Aint' no-one got time for that.
I sure hope I haven't offended anyone with my generalisations. But hey, now you know how many parents feel when you lambast them for taking their children to cafés.
essentialkids.com.au
