Sometimes there'll be a sweet little play on words to go with Mr Pig's sunny disposition: "Simply Ham-tastic!"

"Your mates inside that refrigerated coffin weren't smiling and punning when they lobbed at the abattoir this morning, were they champ?" I think to myself.

The more I see mobile ads like these, I believe the wholesome sanitisation of the meat industry gives parents an opportunity to be more honest with kids about what we feed them.

My ham-loving four-year-old is going through the "big question phase" and when we're in the car it's a non-stop ask-athon about what we're passing: road signs, buildings, motorbikes, trees, people, rest stops - you name it.

One day soon I'm anticipating a conversation that goes something like this:

"Why is there a pig smiling on the side of that truck, Daddy?"

"It's a meat truck honey. It's transporting pigs - for people's dinner."

"Is Peppa Pig made out of meat?"

"You betcha, sweetheart. Pigs are where ham comes from. You love ham, don't you?"

"Yes, I love ham (dreamily)." And then we move on.

I wouldn't expect tears because if you get the message in early enough, it sort of goes right over their heads - and doesn't really go in - until they're finally old enough to accept the blood-caked reality that, if you're a carnivore, creatures must die for your din-dins.

There's no such bullshit in the bush but in the suburbs, far from the evidence of what actually happens to the adorable quacking and mooing gang on Old MacDonald's Farm, we have to ease our kids into it. Packaging helps - those neat black trays and clear plastic so nothing drips out. But by a certain age, we all know.

That's why I was stunned to read about the adult mother and daughter who, while driving through Gwynneville last week, were so shocked to see a flat-bed truck with a stack of freshly slaughtered animal pelts on the back that they called the cops. They actually rang the police! The mum even took a photo as evidence.

Evidence of what? That we kill animals, rip their skins off and eat their flesh? Thanks for the heads-up! I wonder if their car had leather seats.

After confirming the skins had come from sheep and goats, the cops swung into action - and did absolutely nothing. It's not an offence to carry animal pelts in public any more than it is to transport trailers full of drooling, groaning cows along the highway to the slaughterhouse. No one's saying it's pleasant, but it's reality. It sure ain't a police matter.

OK, I accept the truck operator could've thrown a tarp over the load, but he wasn't legally required to do so. And I have to say that if I were running the truck, I'd go sans tarp too but I'd also be pitching to Coles and Woollies to pay for some ad space on the side of my rig: "Fresh kills - Lowest bills. The best bits are on special all week!"