Not all the time. But some of the time. The rough-handed grab, pushy attitude, resentful looks.

So how do you make sure you're raising a kind child, and not a bully?

Even the most well-intentioned parents - parents just like you - are unknowingly sabotaging their efforts to raise kind, caring kids.

Here are eight ways you may be unknowingly encouraging bullying.

1. Gossiping

Want to raise a mean girl? Act like one. The first time my daughter got hold of my phone to mimic me was truly eye-opening. She morphed into a gossip girl. Eyes wide, hands waving, hips sashaying, screeching - and she wasn't even two years old yet. Catty comments are indirect bullying, and many of us do it all the time.

2. Being too busy to show you care

When was the last time you told your partner or family members that you loved them? In front of your kids? Positive displays of intimacy in the home are the basis for our kids' relationships.

3. The "I hate mys"

You hate your job, that messy house, or frizzy hair. When we act like we can't change the outcome, we act helpless. Your kids may act to reclaim that lost power through bullying behaviour.

4. Mini-me syndrome

Kids today are ever more mature at an ever younger age. Current culture encourages us to treat our kids like mini-adults. Fully disclosing adult burdens just adds layers to our kids' stress. And an outlet for stress? Bullying.

5. Over-scheduling your kids' activities

If your child has a passion, by all means allow them the opportunity to explore it. But kids need unstructured free time. Over-scheduling leads to stressed kids. Stress leads to bullying.

6. Inconsistent rule enforcement

We choose to enforce as few rules as possible, but we enforce those rules. Inside those boundaries lies freedom. Lay the ground rules, enforce them, and give your kids permission to be themselves within those boundaries. They'll feel a sense of independence, and won't feel the need to bully.

7. The triple-play: wincing, waiting, watching

Every time you watch someone or something happen that you could help prevent you are a peer to bullying. I understand the appeal of the squirrel launching rocket videos on YouTube. But turn it off. The long-term effects of desensitisation are very real.

8. Forcing your kids to share

Sharing is a learned skill that takes time to develop. Talk about sharing, encourage sharing, but most importantly - teach sharing by example. Forced sharing only results in a feeling of powerlessness. Who's the most powerful kid in class? The bully.