"Our flight time today, with a distance of only 80 kilometres as our twin-engined Augusta flies, will be a little over 12 minutes. We welcome aboard our VIPs and today's special guest.

"Sit back and enjoy the view of Port Phillip Bay and relax into your leather-upholstered window seat. And please avail yourself of our in-flight refreshment."

This beats slumming it in the Commonwealth car. What better way to get from A to B and arrive in style. Not even Johnny Depp's dogs Pistol and Boo could match this on their private jet after Barnaby sent them packing.

The helicopter charter company used by federal speaker Bronwyn Bishop is no stranger to looking after important people in a hurry, no (taxpayer) expense spared.

Travel with family and friends to the stunning Yarra Valley for a special occasion; fly directly over the magnificent Twelve Apostles; or arrive at your wedding venue in a truly magical way, its website suggests. What blushing bride or politician could wish for more.

"A glass of champagne Madam Speaker? Or perhaps you would like to try the Moorabool red, one of our fine wines from the Geelong region?"

Flights depart from various locations including Melbourne Airport or a CBD helipad on the Yarra River or, better still, if time is tight for a special fundraiser, departures can be arranged from private properties.

This could be the answer to my prayers for avoiding those tedious snarl-ups at Spit Bridge on the way up to my northern beaches constituency. I reckon we'd do it in five minutes. Maybe the chopper could park on the grass at Narrabeen and wait.

Air Melbourne provides private charter flights to the Portsea Polo and the Australian Formula 1 grand prix. Other popular destinations, it says, include transport to golf for an all-day event. So whisking Mrs Bishop to the Liberal Party fundraiser at Clifton Springs Golf Club was a routine matter. At least for the operator.

"Thank you for travelling with Air Melbourne. We will be touching down near the clubhouse in the next few moments. Please wait until all rotors have stopped before exiting the aircraft. We look forward to you travelling with us again in the very near future."

Some would say, not much chance of that.