OPINION
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"I left my heart to the sappers 'round Khe Sanh ..."
Who hasn't been in the pub when someone - usually six to eight schooners up - drops a coin in the jukebox and patriotically selects Khe Sanh, Cold Chisel's classic lament about a Vietnam veteran?
"And my soul was sold with my cigarettes to the blackmarket man ..."
As much as I love the song I'm amused when it renders grown men close to tears, arms around each others' shoulders or nodding earnestly into their beers in sombre acknowledgement of the brave Australians who fought and died at Khe Sanh.
"Yeah, Chisel really nailed what it was like for our guys who went to 'Nam," is the unspoken theme of this beer barn ritual.
Except that the battle of Khe Sanh was fought exclusively by US Marines and the US Air Force against the North Vietnamese Army in 1968. Thousands of people died horrible deaths - none of them Aussies.
No matter how authentic Jimmy Barnes's vocal is, regardless of how evocative the lyrics are, Australians simply weren't there and Chisel's songwriter Don Walker had no business appropriating the infamous battle for this country.
So it was curious to see this very song on the receiving end of a misappropriation recently. Last week Barnesy felt compelled to issue a statement asking the knucklehead ultra-nationalists from the Reclaim Australia movement to stop playing Khe Sanh at their rallies.
"None of these people represent me and I do not support them," wrote Barnesy. "I only want to say the Australia I belong to and love is a tolerant Australia."
I'm with you Jim!
It was cause for me to give Khe Sanh a few spins in solidarity. But listening closely made me wonder why the Reclaim crew adopted it in the first place. The actual title might fail on a technicality but the national landscape Walker/Barnesy paint in Khe Sanh is not at all flattering - nor is the portrait of the protagonist:
"She was like so many more from that time on,
Their lives were all so empty, till they found their chosen one,
And their legs were often open,
But their minds were always closed,
And their hearts were held in fast suburban chains."
Right, so fresh from fighting communists our veteran realises Australians are shallow, materialistic morons who don't appreciate the sacrifices our servicemen made in Vietnam.
What's more, he clearly considers Australian women ignorant and overly promiscuous. How do the ladies at Reclaim Australia feel about that?
Not that our hero is without fault:
"And I never stopped the dreams,
Or the growing need for speed and novocaine."
Hmmm. A druggie eh? The vibe is he's self-medicating against shell shock. Well, call me old fashioned, but I don't reckon racking up speed is the best panacea for PTSD. Really, Reclaim, do you want veterans turning into meth-heads?
"So I worked across the country end to end,
... Held a job on an oil-rig,
Flying choppers when I could,
But the nightlife nearly drove me 'round the bend."
Ol' mate clearly has trouble holding down a job. That's gotta be un-Australian in the Reclaim crew's world view. Maybe his employment record is poor because of the PTSD - but more a likely combination of that and the fact he's snorting speed during smoko.
One also has to wonder how much tax he paid as he worked "across the country". It's got a whiff of cash-in-hand about it, except maybe the oil rig job; you'd probably need a tax file number for that.
"And I've travelled 'round the world from year to year."
Why? Australia not good enough for ya? Oi! Oi! Oi!
"And I've been back to South East Asia,
But the answer sure ain't there,
But I'm drifting north to check things out again."
Drifting north again? Sounds like a dope-smoking road trip to me. Meanwhile the hard-working mums and dads at Reclaim Australia are keeping their jobs and paying their taxes. By the way, is the veteran on benefits?
"You know the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone,
Only seven flying hours, and I'll be landing in Hong Kong,
There ain't nothing like the kisses,
From a jaded Chinese princess,
I'm gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night long."
How this declaration didn't set off alarm bells at Reclaim's rally planning meetings is beyond me. Ol' mate hates Australia so much he's desperate to get to Hong Kong! To have sex with an Asian woman! All night long! Traitor!
"I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry,
You know the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone."
No, as far as songs go I don't think Khe Sanh is a good fit for Reclaim Australia. Perhaps they could consider another iconic Aussie anthem; Cold Chisel's Choir Girl for example.
"Looking like a choir girl,
"She's crying like a refugee ..."
Oops. Hang on. Not that one either. Besides, it'd probably invite another slap-down from Barnesy.