A Lake Illawarra mother was heartbroken this month after visiting her baby boy’s memorial site and discovering the toys and trinkets she’d left had been discarded.
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Alicia was one of many parents forced to search through tables and bins at the rear of Lakeside Memorial Park to find the gifts they’d left their angel babies at sites in the baby garden.
‘’We only lost our son Byron in October – he was stillborn at 20 weeks,’’ Alicia said. ‘’We’re only a young couple and he was our first child and this is our only place to take his things.
‘’To have them taken – and then to see all the other parents’ precious items in a mass pile and in bins was heartbreaking and mortifying.’’
Alicia, who did not want her surname published, took to social media to share her concerns and received an overwhelming response.
The grieving mum said she’d been unaware of the Kanahooka memorial park’s strict ornamentation policy – which prohibits items like toys and statues due to aesthetic and safety concerns.
‘’I don’t know how a little toy train can be messy or a hazard. If the park is going to be so strict, they should have that conversation with parents and let them know when they plan to remove them.’’
Yallah grandmother Toni Brown was outraged after a small Christmas tree and ornaments were taken from her granddaughter’s site.
‘’Letariah’s big brother made the ornaments for the tree and came with me to place them at the site,’’ Ms Brown said. ‘’To read on Facebook that everything from the baby garden had been thrown in the bin was devastating.’’
Mt Warrigal mum Chloe Stavlas buried her baby girl Chrissi – who was stillborn - at Lakeside in November.
A snow globe her toddler Mia placed at the site has also gone.
‘’I can’t understand the need to remove something so little, yet so precious to us,’’ she said.
A spokesman for Lakeside Memorial Park, Karl Wolfenden, said Lakeside had had a no ornamentation policy in place for years, though a relaxation of that policy was being considered.
‘’Some of the relaxed elements we are considering include allowing up to four ornaments per baby or child site, within certain sections.’’
It’s too little, too late for many parents. ‘’It’s a shame it’s taken this amount of heartache for them to look at this policy,’’ Alicia said.
Mr Wolfenden said a meeting to discuss amendments to the policy would be held on February 17.
‘’Through the original intent and flexibility in this policy, and in the amendments we are considering for selected baby and child memorial areas, Lakeside Memorial Park is sensitive to the needs of grieving families and we apologise to the community for the distress this matter has caused.’’
The Mercury has previously reported on a number of occasions about concerns over the ornamentation rule, and it’s not only parents who are upset.
Sherree McGovern often visits the memorial site of her sister Karen and brother-in-law Fernando Marino with the couple’s two young children.
‘’The children like to take things out for their mother and father and then they’re gone when we next visit,’’ she said.
‘’We understand the policy and don’t take anything that’s breakable or that touches the grass – but still our things get taken away.’’
Amanda, surname withheld, is also at pains to understand the policy after the removal of items from her baby’s site in the recent cleanup.
‘’I don’t understand how they can be so black and white about it,’’ she said.
‘’If and when something is looking untidy or is posing a safety risk then action should be taken – with the knowledge of loved ones – but to just remove everything is cruel.’’
Mr Wolfenden said signs within the park grounds informed people of the policy.
‘’Lakeside understands that it is comforting for people to place mementos to loved ones on memorials and we balance this against preserving the park-like appearance of our grounds and fulfilling the health and safety obligations we owe to all who use our grounds,’’ he said.
‘’Items that are collected are respectfully stored on tables at the back of our office. Grounds staff treat these items with respect however strong weather can undo this care. Items are usually stored for three months.’’