What is it to be Muslim in Australia today? Last month, Fairfax Media published the stories of nine men and women about life here as a Muslim. It then asked readers who are Muslim to speak of their experiences and how they explain extremism and Islamophobia to their children. Dozens of people responded. A selection of their edited responses are below.

I don't even tell my footy team

Michael Kelly, 29, Torquay

I don't even tell my footy team I'm Muslim because I don't want to deal with the assumptions and ignorance of a lot of the people I come across. If somebody knows I'm Muslim it is guaranteed they'll ask me why I converted. I feel judged on my answer. If I said I was Christian no one would bat an eyelid. When my daughter gets older I will tell her that not everybody agrees with or understands the choices of another person, but that we should understand that everybody gets to make their own choices as long as it doesn't hurt another person. If it hurts another person, what you're doing is wrong. There seems to be two types of people: those who hate Muslims and everybody else.

All Muslims are classed as terrorists

Mocca, Perth, Afghan

We came to Australia when I was three years old. I always thought Australia was my country until I started to wear a scarf. Nowadays all Muslims are classed as terrorists. When I started to cover I lost two friends because they couldn't hang around someone who covers and doesn't drink. Since covering up, complete strangers pass judgment on me. I've been verbally abused, a man once pulled a knife on me, the list goes on. I don't feel safe walking around the shops. Like I constantly have to be on guard in case I get attacked. It is sad how our society is acting. We are dividing ourselves. There should be no difference between a girl who wants to cover herself from head to toe or someone that wants to reveal everything. We should both be treated with the same respect.

Small things might turn bigger

Amalina Rahmat, 21, Melbourne, Malaysian  

I arrived in Australia as an international student after the Sydney siege. I felt scared, like I was segregated in class. When asked to form groups or pairs, people usually turned their backs to me and I was left to pair up with either another Asian kid or with the tutor. Maybe it's my accent, the colour of my skin or maybe it's the scarf I wear on my head. I don't know. I do feel like people treat me differently. I'm just a normal human being like everyone else. Once I was crossing the road at Federation Square with my brother and this man walked right up at me and spat on my shoe. I was really shaken because he was so big. My brother and I were both confused, but when we got home we realised there had been a Reclaim Australia rally a few hours earlier. My housemate was walking home recently when a group of young men in a car shouted, "You f---ing Muslim!" at her. Although these things might not be extreme, they are small things that, if not controlled might turn bigger. They should be called out.

Children have a right to peace

Dal Ouba, 37, Sydney, Lebanese descent

Being Muslim in Australia is emotionally exhausting because you constantly have to prove yourself to everyone. There are endless layers to break through every day before a genuine conversation begins. Travelling to work can be frightening. I have rejected work at prestigious universities because I don't feel safe catching the train there. All it takes is for one sick person to give you a complex. My son is nine years old and I would like to protect him from what's really happening in Australia and abroad as children have a right to have peace in their minds. I don't feel there's need to dump adult problems on a child's shoulders.

I don't want sympathy

Sarah Shehata, 21, Melbourne, Arab

It's like being an outcast. It's terrorising. I shouldn't have to wake up every morning thinking about how I am going to respond to verbal or physical abuse. I shouldn't have to walk around the streets thinking that my headscarf makes me a target, or that when someone looks at me it's because they  resent my religion. Even when people smile at me, I shouldn't have to think it's for sympathy. I don't want sympathy. I don't want to feel terrified. I don't want to be hated for choosing something that makes me happy. I just want to fit in regardless of how I present myself.

Australia is their country

Sahar Elsemary, 48, Sydney, Egyptian  

At times, living in Australia as a Muslim is rewarding. At other times it is very difficult. I feel stressed going to certain suburbs or states. I worry that some ignorant person will swear at me for being a Muslim or pull my scarf off. This happened to me once when I was leading a tour in Lakemba. A man stopped me in the middle of the road and called me a terrorist and demanded that I go back where I came from. I tell my children it's just a small percentage of Australians who are ignorant and racist. That Australia is their country and that they should prove it to others that being a Muslim is an advantage.

Being a minority is harder

Nada, Melbourne, Indian

Being a Muslim in Australia is not the concern. Being a minority in Australia makes day-to-day activities harder. You have to constantly prove yourself, your beliefs and your existence in a land that itself was invaded. There are bad people out there who are disenfranchised and searching for avenues to show they stand out. They will do anything. These people don't reflect us. Their minds are not normal and they are doing things irrationally.

Salah with his family in Sydney.

We are under constant pressure

Salah, 37, Sydney, Arab-Tunisian

We are under constant pressure from the media and politicians. It seems everyone has an idea about how Muslims should behave. The majority of Muslims are law-abiding citizens who want a better life for their families. We love this country and we will do anything to protect it and uphold its liberal values. Unfortunately, all the media attention has been given to the tiny portion who have been brainwashed by extremists. My children are very young and don't know anything about religion and politics. But I'm very concerned about future bullying and discrimination because they are Muslims. They have been raised like every other child in this country. I don't see our family as being different to any other Australian family, but perhaps people see us as different.

My daughter is too young to understand hate

Arva, Adelaide, Indian

I have not spoken to my daughter about extremism because she is too young to understand hate. She only understands love. I wear a hijab and the abaya. I feel judged because of the way I dress. People have shouted insults at me from cars as they drive past. I have been verbally abused while walking along the street. I have been called terrorist. It makes me cry and feel very sad. I have been always respected at school, parks and by the people living around me. The media has influenced people to think that all Muslims support terrorism. The teaching of Islam has been misinterpreted.

You are judged for everything you do

​Roslyn, Brisbane

To be Muslim in Australia is to be judged for everything you do. To worry whether people will be nice to me today or abuse me. I am Australian. I chose to become Muslim and wear the hijab. I have been stereotyped as being new to Australia, unable to speak English, uneducated (I have one degree and am doing another currently). At university I feel the most accepted, but step off campus and it is different. I have had more positive interactions than negative. But I have had someone attempt to run me over in their car as I crossed at a traffic light. I make sure I always follow rules. I have had a few people mutter comments as they walk past me. Most people aren't brave enough to say it loudly for anyone but me to hear or to say it straight to my face. As children of a Muslim convert my children can face more discrimination from within the Muslim community than from the non-Muslim community. They aren't real Muslims because their mum wasn't born Muslim. The prejudices of the parents are passed to their children.

Mughees Ahmad

​Australia has been an absolute pleasure 

Mughees Ahmad, 35, Sydney, Pakistani

It has been an absolute pleasure living in Australia for 26 years of my life. This country and its people have treated me when I was ill, taught me how to read and write, given me the opportunity to run a successful business. I have been allowed to practise my religion openly at a place of my choosing. I lived in Sydney before 9/11. Before the terrorist attacks I didn't feel like I had to hide my Muslim identity. But now there is a show-cause relationship with an ever increasing silent but convinced society. That is sad. I have a nine-year-old daughter with an intellectual disability who is receiving tremendous help from different organisations. I choose to look beyond the things that divide us and talk about what unites us. That is what Islam teaches us: mutual respect, peace with another, wellbeing of all.

A man made bomb sounds while I was shopping

Heather Ali, 34, Brisbane

I started wearing the hijab about three years ago and since then have been the victim of verbal abuse many times over. From being called a terrorist while shopping at Christmas to being verbally abused outside a church hall where we were running a cooking program. I have had a man oink at me. On another occasion a man followed me to the checkout making bomb sounds while I was shopping with my 13-year-old daughter. I've had an elderly woman tell me I shouldn't be allowed to wear that in this country while pointing at my scarf. I tend to brace myself for incidents of bigotry immediately after a terrorist event overseas is reported. Sometimes I fear even going to the chemist. I'm Australian born and the granddaughter of an Anzac yet in recent years I've felt less and less welcomed in my own country. Australia has become considerably more hostile towards visibly looking Muslims in recent years.

There is always hope

Zainab Hedayat, Sydney, Afghan

Since the start of the conflict in Syria living in Australia as a Muslim has become quite difficult. Every time something happens involving an Arab or Muslim it ignites hatred, or at the very least, prejudice among the Australian population. It has become more common for me to hear about racial vilification and violence against Muslims in Sydney. I'm just waiting for the day when I have to endure an experience like this. It's a sad time, but there is always hope. I remember after the Lindt Cafe siege, the manager of a firm next to my workplace came to assure me that if I felt unsafe I could always rely on her and her colleagues for help.

Chloe Green

I avoid public transport with my children 

Chloë Green, 41, Sydney, British  

I'm scared that my children or grandchildren might end up in a concentration camp one day. I avoid public transport with my children because I don't want them to hear me being harassed. I have been harassed on public transport while an entire carriage full of people pretended not to notice. My children are still in primary school, but they know that extremism has nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with being violent criminals.

I have being told that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim

Faeeza Jawaid, Melbourne, Pakistani

I have being told that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim. This was in response to me saying that there is good and bad in every cultural or ethnic group and that the majority of Muslims are peace loving. I feel as if I need to constantly and actively denounce acts of terrorism because if I didn't the wider community will believe that I condone these heinous acts. It's saddening because this is not expected of our non-Muslim fellow countrymen. It indicates that Australian Muslims are somehow different to the rest of the community. I also feel very lucky to be an Australian. I happen to be surrounded by educated people who are fully aware that the majority of Muslims all over the world just want to get on with their lives peacefully.  

I focus on teaching respect

Rahim, Perth, Albanian-Scottish

Before 2001 Australia was a great place to live. Since the attacks in New York I feel that there is a divide. Thankfully, we live in a community where Muslims are well respected. My children are not old enough to understand the events on the news, but generally I do not focus on what others do. I focus on teaching my children about respect, good manners and tolerance. I tell them they can play with anyone they want to as long as they do the right thing. Do not play with people who are bad. I do not appear outwardly Muslim and have heard anti-Muslim speech many times. A former colleague once told me they could "pick a Muslim a mile off". I currently work as a teacher and I have overheard students insult other students by calling them a Muslim.  

Where is our protection from the white extremists?

Ahmed, Melbourne, Lebanese

I feel isolated, harassed, always looked down upon. Australia has become a very racist country. We Muslims have been living here for decades and help contribute to this nation's growth and within a split second we are deemed as terrorists. The media is to blame too. I tell my children how it is. That this country is turning on its own citizens. We are constantly asked to say sorry for actions of others. We are being pushed into a corner and forced to defend ourselves. Things have become much worse. Where is our protection from white extremists?

Sami Ullah

I would rather be here than anywhere else

Sami Ullah, 30, Melbourne, Pakistani

I came here in 2006 as a student full of hope. My family spent everything they had on me to give me a better future. It was tough leaving my culture, friends and family behind. I remember being scared of landing here. I didn't know what to expect. But I shouldn't have feared. There was nothing that stood out and I just walked through immigration like a breeze. Now with ISIS and my skin tone I am usually stopped at airports and at check-ins. I don't mind. If it makes people safe so be it. I am not a conservative Muslim but a silent one. Everyone at work knows I am a Muslim. I have never been discriminated against or have been pointed out by people. But sometimes when people die back home or when things happen that are beyond my control, I can feel the stares. I feel that I have to apologise for the actions of people who do not represent my religion in any way. But this for a nascent country like Australia is a learning curve. I would rather be here than anywhere else in the world and look forward to one day being an Australian.

Our image has been tarnished by governments

Ibrahim Ali, Sydney, Kuwaiti-Lebanese

I'm proud to call myself a Muslim Australian and appreciate what this country has done for me. But lately our image has been tarnished by governments, which are supposed to maintain the peace. I tell my children that these people who protest against mosques are scared and don't understand. I tell them we have to be good people and respect everyone no matter what their religion or race.

It is hard to feel hated

Ari, Melbourne

It is hard to feel hated by the majority of people just because we practise our faith in a peaceful manner. We should not be painted with the same brush as extremists. We need a clean atmosphere for our kids and their future. I find it very difficult to explain to my children the actions of far-right groups. We try to avoid talking to them about it so they can stay positive about their future. My children tell me they can't practise their faith freely without someone making a comment or joke about them. Over the past 10 years the attitudes towards Muslims have gone from bad to very bad.

I have to hide my beliefs

Leila Hassan, Sydney, Egyptian  

It has never been easy living as a Muslim in Australia, but now I feel like I have to conceal my religious beliefs so that I am not discriminated against. It's unsettling to hear anti-Islamic sentiments coming from the mouths of people I thought were intelligent – some of them my own family and friends. I am constantly hearing people's Islamophobic opinions. Even at family gatherings. I'll check my Facebook feed and see that friends have liked "ban the burqa" memes or anti-halal pages. I've had cans and bottles thrown at me while dining at an outdoor cafe with women wearing hijabs. The thugs drove past twice and yelled, "Go back to Lebanon, ya tea towel heads." Even though we felt scared, we had to laugh because none of us were from Lebanon. I believe that it has become acceptable to be openly anti-Islam. It's disappointing to watch people I know believe everything they see and hear without bothering to do any research on their own. Even when I present them with all the facts, they still hold on to that fear and hatred. It's hard to unlearn.

Rodoshi Hassan

I haven't done anything wrong

Rodoshi Hassan, 21, Sydney, Bangladeshi  

I have a lot of bottled-up anger. Every time I see my religion being vilified in the media, I have to look away or shut it down. I want to do something, say something, defend my religion, but I also don't want to have to do something. I shouldn't have to say something. I haven't done anything wrong.

There is immense fear and hatred 

Naseema Mustapha, 46, Brisbane, South African Indian

Arriving as a young migrant child, it was extremely difficult being a Muslim and someone of a non-Caucasian race and culture. Brisbane was very homogeneous and it wasn't until the 1980s that Vietnamese refugees and people of other backgrounds started arriving. Childhood as a Muslim was difficult; adolescence was even harder. In my attempt to assimilate I have lost my mother tongue, Urdu, and have deep regrets about that. I am finally very comfortable with my identity as a Mulsim. Islam teaches me to be moderate in all that I do, and find the balance within myself and my lifestyle. This is what I teach my children. Most of the time I hear positive things from my children. On rare occasion I hear about a negative experience my 12-year-old has at high school. Most recently a child was heard telling other boys in the playground not to hang out with anyone who is Muslim. There is an immense fear and even hatred for Muslims thanks to government policies, fearmongering politicians and some media.

We are as Australian as any white person

Ataman Atlas, 48, Melbourne, Turkish

My children come home with stories of discrimination regularly. They have learnt from a very young age that "we" are different to the wider Australian community and that they are classed as "not" Australian. I explain to my children that we are as Australian as any other white person. But I tell them it is white non-Muslim Australia that focuses on our differences rather than our similarities. I tell them that anti-mosque protests are run by hateful, ignorant bigots who have no understanding of Islam and in all likelihood have never met a Muslim person in their lives. I talk to them about extremism and terrorism simply as power politics. That is, that certain individuals hide behind either faith or politics in order to gain control of resources and power. That somebody's terrorist may well be another person's freedom fighter. The most important thing is to make sure justice is given to all, that the point where justice ends is the point where chaos begins. At the end of the day terrorists and extremists are not created in a vacuum. They are the product of something. In most cases they are the product of underprivileged, oppressed people denied justice.

Our mosque was firebombed

Janeth Deen, Brisbane, Indian-German descent

Islamophobia has been rife since September 11, 2001. The Kuraby mosque was the first mosque in the world to be burnt to the ground after September 11. Our mosque in Holland Park (the first established mosque on the East Coast of Australia) was also firebombed at the same time. We have had pigs' heads left at several mosques. The Toowoomba mosque was destroyed by fire. Our women have been discriminated against in job interviews if they are veiled. The list goes on.

Asif Iqbal 

We only hear those who scream the loudest 

Asif Iqbal, 35, Sydney, Bangladeshi  

I am an optimist. I believe most Australians are good, welcoming people. As always, we only hear those who scream loudest. The week of the Parramatta shooting, Muslims in the area were still able to pray in their mosque. This, to me, is an amazing example of the freedom that Australia provides. Muslims do face a lot of criticism that is based on false premises or stems from a lack of knowledge. Ironically, these things have made me a better Muslim. They have made me challenge my beliefs and research more about my religion. My daughter is only two years old. I want to make sure she receives the correct Islamic teachings. That is the cure for extremism. In Islam, there is simply no room for harming an innocent person.