The now-19-year-old, who along with her attacker cannot be named for legal reasons, said she indulged in risky behaviour and became a compulsive spender and binge eater in a bid to cope with the mental anguish stemming from her ordeal.

“I feel like I only exist in two states; overwhelmed or completely numb,” she said in a powerful statement read out in Wollongong District Court last week.

“[I] punch brick walls when I can’t control the intense rage that sits inside me all the time.”

The court heard the man, an aspiring teacher studying for a degree in primary school education at the time of his arrest, took the girl into his care when she was 14 owing to her father’s onerous work commitments.

The abuse began not long after she moved in and continued until she was 16 or 17.

During that time, the man repeatedly assaulted the teen – once when his own daughter was in the same room – all the while telling her their relationship was special.

“You can’t tell anyone,” he told her on one occasion.

“We both love each other … don’t tell your dad … what we have is unique.”

The man also admitted to supplying the girl with cannabis on a daily basis, saying they would often smoke it together.

The woman told a friend about the abuse in 2014, prompting a report to be made to police.

The man was arrested and charged with multiple child sex offences. He subsequently pleaded guilty.

In court, the woman said she felt constant shame over her abuse.

“I am embarrassed and humiliated when people, friends and family ask me why I didn’t speak up earlier, why I didn’t tell someone,” she said.

“I don’t know what to tell them, I can’t answer their questions. This eats away inside me.”

The woman said while she was currently too “unstable” to lead a normal life, she hoped to be able to return one day to full time work and study.

“I just want to feel normal and have a normal life with normal friends and a future partner,” she said.

The man will be sentenced at a later date.