Author of nine parenting books and a regular on television and radio, Michael Grose spoke to the Illawarra Mercury ahead of his free Wollongong seminar on August 22.

He’ll be presenting an interactive workshop at The Illawarra Grammar School on how to raise confident and resilient kids, but not everyone may like what he has to say.

“They don’t have to over-parent, they don’t have to rescue the kids all the time … because a lot of children are spoon-fed and the results of that aren’t great,” Mr Grose said.

The results he’s talking about are children lacking confidence, resilience and life skills.

Mr Grose said anxiety plagues many children today and it comes from the environment they’re in.

He believes while mums and dads do need to take parenting seriously they also need to “chill out a little bit”.

The expert attributes the rise of helicopter-parents to families being smaller than in previous times so a sole focus is on one or two kids; adults are more fearful of the world; and busy lifestyles of working parents are being passed on to their kids.

“We mix up an early start for a good start. Children are very busy today and involved in a lot of different activities, which is great, but sometimes there’s a cost to that - well being,” he said.

Mr Grose said allowing children to “muck around” is not only good for their mental health but can help them learn from through free play. He also advised busy parents to stop trying to do everything for their beloved child.

He used the analogy of a seven-year-old boy he met recently who could play violin superbly but had no idea how to make a Vegemite sandwich. 

“He had self esteem issues because he couldn’t do the basics of life.”

He urged parents to help children develop them own self help skills.

“It’s making their own lunches, it’s getting themselves off to school, it’s getting themselves up in the morning and they’re the skills of confidence,” he said.

Meantime, claiming your child has confidence issues because they’re being bullied is a “typical” response Mr Grose hears regularly.

Bullying is still a serious problem he said, as one in seven children experience it, but apparently parents shouldn’t be so quick to label disappointment and rejection as being bullied.

“Parents get annoyed at the school because they don’t think the school is taking it seriously.

“Bullying is awful … it’s repetitive behaviours, it’s often around lack of powers so kids can’t get themselves out of a situation.

“But sometimes it’s just conflict or rejection ...those kids with good self esteem won’t let rejection stop them and they’ll go and make friends elsewhere.”

The Secret to Raising Confident and Resilient Kids, Michael Grose, at TIGS Wollongong, Monday August 22.

To RSVP to the FREE seminar, visit: www.tigs.nsw.edu.au