It’s been almost three years since Brendon Bullock was found clinically dead after a suicide attempt.

A neighbour, a retired ambulance officer, heard the gut-wrenching screams of his wife and rushed to his aid.

He was resuscitated and taken to Wollongong Hospital.

He was placed in an induced coma for four days, then brought back to life with a second chance.

The former detective senior constable had been medically discharged form the NSW Police Force a year earlier, diagnosed with chronic post traumatic stress disorder.

His psychiatric injury was the result of fifteen years of exposure to traumatic scenes.

Today Mr Bullock needs medication to keep his PTSD and major depressive disorder at bay – simply to function in every day life. 

And with his anniversary of that dreadful day in his backyard looming, he is trying to put aside his own pain to help others.

“I have lost my marriage, I am dependent on medications to keep me from returning to the midst of total despair and reminded every day of traumas linked to my occupation as a NSW police officer,’’ Mr Bullock said.

“The hardest thing I live with to this day is my 'survivor guilt'.  

“Having to accept responsibility for my regrettable attempt at suicide and the impact that has had on my family, friends and children.

“The anniversary is on Monday. Past anniversaries have been extremely tough and I expect this upcoming one to be no different.’’

Mr Bullock is using his struggle to advocate for change.

He wants governments and insurance companies to be held accountable and to start supporting damaged service men and women.

“Police forces, governments around Australia and Insurance companies must stand to account and recognise that PTSD is a real and immanent threat that can and will continue to lead to police suicide,’’ he said.

Support is available for anyone who may be distressed by phoning Lifeline 13 11 14; Mensline 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800.

‘PRESUMED GUILTY, NOT MENTALLY UNWELL’

Former Illawarra detective Brendon Bullock claims an insurance company presumed he was guilty of lodging a fraudulent claim from the outset, leaving him desperate to prove he was struggling to stay alive.

Mr Bullock, who attempted suicide and still battles his demons every day, claims the workers compensation process exacerbated his psychiatric condition.

He has had multiple admissions to psychiatric hospitals, has suffered in the past from drug and alcohol addiction and has a major depressive disorder.

Mr Bullock, a former NSW Police senior constable, gave evidence at this week's hearing into the NSW Compensation scheme. He joined other police officers, firefighters, laywers and various stakeholders making submissions at Parliament House in Sydney.

Mr Bullock said that from the time he lodged his claim in 2012 he was subjected to continual pressure from case managers urging him to take part in interviews with private investigators.

He was repeatedly questioned over the cause and nature of his psychiatric injury - despite providing a lengthy statement outlining my experience. ‘’I was continually told that if I did not comply my claim would be declined,’’ he said.

‘’I was subjected to intrusive and relentless physical surveillance by private investigators contracted by EML,’’ he said.

‘’I was subjected to desktop surveillance by private investigation companies on behalf of EML.’’

Mr Bullock also believes the EML-appointed psychiatrists were chosen because of the ‘’favourable medico legal reports they provide to insurers’’ - in other words ‘’cash for comment’’ doctors.

The Mercury contacted EML for comment over the matter.