The content I found there was, quite frankly, as much of a joke as Real Life Wife Swap.

Gender Disappointment. Have you heard of this? It’s when parents suffer mental health episodes because they are upset that their newborn prince was not a princess, or vice-versa.

My Dad suffered from the old Gender Disappointment back in the nineties when his fourth daughter was born. He’d only been trying since the seventies for a boy.

Back then you just cracked on with nappies and bottle sterilising, you weren’t diagnosed with a very specific mental health issue just because sometimes life gives you lemons or lemonettes.

Imagine you turn up at the hospital to meet a friend’s newborn.

“Oh she’s beautiful!”

“Yeah she’s ok.”

“What’s her name?”

“We haven’t decided, nothing we chose is right for her.”

“Is everything ok?”

“Well we’re actually grieving right now, we wanted a boy.”

If Gender Disappointment is a thing, I’d like to propose a few more official disappointments: You Have No Chocolate In The Cupboard Disappointment; You’re Tagged In A Meme But Already Saw The Meme Disappointment; or, It’s Too Hot For Your Chosen Outfit So Now You Can’t Wear It Disappointment

I think it’s a bit much assigning an official diagnosis every time life lets you down. As a solution I’d like to suggest one, all encompassing label: Being Human Disappointment. 

*Fairlie Hamilton is a presenter for i98FM and Mercury columnist.