I need to talk to you about cats.
There’s a link between cats, Donald Trump, vegemite, abortion and beetroot on burgers - they are all polarizing.
Cat haters are way more vocal than cat lovers, there’s not too many fence sitters when it comes to the feline (although there are a lot of feline fence sitters!).
I get it, I come from a family of dog people, but we adopted a stray kitten back when I was in high-school and I can tell you that if you hate cats, you probably just have not met the right cat.
“But cats are so rude and antisocial, they don’t come running to the front door like a dog does,” says the cat hater.
If a small domestic animal has the power to make you feel rejected and insignificant, you have some deep rooted issues.
There’s over 24 million Google results for “funny cat”.
They’ve all got their own cute little hilarious personalities, and yes there are definitely some jerk cats around, but there’s also a lot of jerk humans around and you don’t write off the whole of the human race on account of them now do you?
Which animal is known for being the most striking, powerful, most beautiful and deadliest predator on the planet, and a symbol of virility and masculinity?
A cat is just a mini lion!
It’s a tiny miniature version of an animal revered around the world as a savage beast, but you can cuddle it and kiss it and it will sit and be your friend when the rest of the world has turned its back on your Netflix and chill invites.
Admit it, if you could go to the RSPCA and adopt a mini elephant, you definitely would.
*Fairlie Hamilton is the afternoon’s presenter on i98FM and is the regular Monday weekly columnist for the Illawarra Mercury.