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Over the past few days, I’ve seen more and more social media posts from my female friends saying #metoo
You might have noticed it popping up on your feeds, from women of all backgrounds.
It originated from American actress Alyssa Milano, who called on Twitter users to share their experiences of sexual harassment or sexual assault - and even rape - in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein revelations.
Each time I see it pop up, I'm both sad and unsurprised. Not many women I know haven't experienced harassment, and far too many have been sexually assaulted.
Seeing all these "me too" statuses, I’m so happy we’ve reached a point where women feel no shame saying they’ve been abused. Watching the Weinstein fallout, I’m also happy we’re finally listening.
But let’s remember that behind each of these women’s statuses there is another person – one who could say "me too" to being an abuser. In many cases, the abusers will have been men.
As women come forward and own their assaults and harassment, we need to recognise that there are these invisible perpetrators who committed those acts.
I think we’ve made great headway in the way we treat sexual assault in 2017.
But until I see men posting “me too” – or “it was me” – to signal that they’ve harassed or assaulted, or looked the other way and protected a mate they know has harassed or assaulted women, I don’t think we’re anywhere near stamping out this huge problem.
Because the women posting #metoo couldn’t do anything to stop someone harassing or assaulting them. Nothing about their abuse was their fault, and the burden to own that crime is not on them.
That power still lies with the men who commit these despicable acts, or who pretend they’re not happening, and I still can’t see much evidence of anyone owning up to that.