Aside from a few fleeting moments of distracted joy involving his children, one dark and overriding thought has dominated his almost every waking moment.

“I’d get up in the morning, having barely slept, have a shower and I’d think ‘how am I going to get money today to gamble?’,” he told Wollongong District Court on Monday.

“I’d go to work and by the afternoon had worked out how to get my hands on money.

“I’d bet, invariably I’d lose every day. Then I’d drive home thinking about killing myself….that’s been the last 18 months of my life.”

It was Miles penchant for online betting, and his need to feed that addiction, that would see him fleece upwards of $800,000 from the Steelers Club over a seven year period while he was serving as the venue’s general manager.

His scam wasn’t sophisticated but relied upon the trust bestowed in him by the club’s board of directors and what has been described as “loose governance” of club credit charges and cash payment forms.

At times, he said the missing cash had been given to the St George Illawarra Dragons NRL side.  

Miles’ thievery came to light in January this year, partially by his own admission, although he readily concedes it was simply a matter of time before his scheme was uncovered.

Since then, he has lost everything.

His career walked out the door (he now drives taxis to make ends meet), followed soon after by his wife.

Miles confirmed in court the pair had separated and that their Barden Ridge home was soon to be sold, with his own half of the proceeds already earmarked for partial payment of what he owes the club.

He also knows that he’s on borrowed time; he’s nervous but ready for the inevitable jail sentence that’s coming.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about going to jail,” he said during his sentencing hearing on Monday.

“But my real concern is for my wife and children…my main concern is how they’re going to cope when I’m not there.”

Still, he says he’s in a better place now than he has been in a long time, crediting support from the Wesley Mission with saving his life.

“Without them I wouldn’t be sitting here now, I don’t think I’d be alive.”

Judge Andrew Haesler reserved sentencing until next week, but left Miles with no uncertainty as to where he was heading.

“You should prepare yourself for a custodial sentence Mr Miles, but rest assured, you will get through it,” Judge Haesler said.

If you need help, call Lifeline 131 114

The Border Mail