By BEN LANGFORD

Sometimes the answer is sitting right there before your eyes.

After surveying the problems with feral deer in the Illawarra, I have a modest proposal.

It may be one less in the style of Jonathan Swift and more in the manner of Reginald Mungomery, if you know what I mean.

Time for a bit of lateral thinking. Where are deer found? Figtree, Keiraville, Mr Keira, the Royal National Park, even on some northern suburbs beaches, I’m told.

But where are deer not spotted? The Sublime Point track and Coalcliff.

And what else is spotted there? Well it’s the black panther of course.

It’s reasonable to assume the panther is keeping deer numbers down around Sublime Point. Wouldn’t you say?

So if we release some panthers in the escarpment around Wollongong, those stealthy cats could soon solve the problem. With proper risk assessments, naturally.

I have circulated some talking points:

What about the threat to the public from these wild cats? Hey bleeding hearts would you prefer to be locked up in a zoo or prowling the escarpment chasing deer? 

Could this turn out like the cane toad or the rabbit? The panthers should be able to handle themselves against rabbits and toads as well. Synergies are huge.

What about the decaying bodies? The panthers can be GPS-equipped and a squad can pick up the carcasses to be kept in the Local Land Services cold storage at Dapto before being feed to the lions at Symbio.

Lions? Let’s get them too. We need to approach this cautiously, although any wild cats with a remotely activated tranquiliser collar should be a harm-free method to keep the suburbs safe. And if not, there’s more work for shooters.

Isn’t that dangerous? We will have some of the Strictest Controls in the Country to make sure health and the environment are protected with no risk and maximum benefit.