Some women pay big bucks for a huge billboard to publicly shame a man.

Britain's Lady Sarah Moon made headlines in the 1990s by cutting the sleeves off 32 of her husband's Savile Row suits, and then pouring white paint over his BMW.

Then, to really stick the knife in, she raided his impressive wine cellar and left bottles of the finest drops on the neighbours' doorsteps.

William Congreve observed in his 1697 play, The Mourned Bride: "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

Although women are popularly perceived as scarier than men when scorned in love, Sydney psychologist Elisabeth Shaw says it's not just females who can go "psycho" when romance goes wrong.

"I think women and men can be susceptible," she says.

"But I think there's a whole lot of reasons why people can end up in a very bad emotional place after a relationship break-up."

Shaw says the media is probably to blame for the bad reputation of scorned women.

Certainly, Lorena Bobbitt made unforgettable headlines in 1989 when she took revenge on her abusive husband, John Wayne Bobbitt, by cutting off his penis while he slept and throwing it out a car window.

Shaw says psychologists understand that "everyone has the capacity to behave very, very badly when they don't have the outcome they want".

In extreme cases - those in which a scorned lover physically harms someone - Shaw says the attacker usually has had long-term emotional instability or low-level mental health difficulties.

People who snap often have "an attachment crisis".

"There are some people who live right on the edge in the fear that they're going to be left," she says.

"That may be from early childhood that they had a very traumatic separation or the early death of a parent, and in fact they live in terror of loss and often the way that comes out is they use anger to defend against it," she says.

"The terror of being abandoned gets transformed into rage."

Other people, Shaw says, see themselves as half of a whole and think that, without their partner, they are doomed to be half a person.

"This can lead to a great deal of revenge or threats. The 'I'll do anything to get you back' because people feel diminished."

However, the pain of being cheated on, lied to or dumped can be enough on its own to push a woman to the edge.

In her book The Down And Dirty On Revenge, US author Eva Nagorski gives a vivid description on how some scorned women turn hostile.

"You begin forgetting about the good times you had with your lover or husband, and begin re-living the bad times over and over again," she writes.

"You begin to feel scorn. It manifests into hate. And then, with a rush, you experience an epiphany. You see a vision in your mind: your ex suffering just like you have, feeling what you've felt, getting what you've gotten."

Shaw says some people are more susceptible to "losing it".

"There can be indications in a relationship that you're not with someone emotionally stable, when even ordinary fights get out of hand."

Methods to stay in control (rather than giving in to the dark side) range from getting lots of sleep and physical exercise to seeking expert help.

But the best advice just might come from Ivana Trump, Donald's ex: "Don't get mad, darling. Get everything." AAP

Solutions if you’re feeling on the edge

■ Get an expert help to stabilise your feelings and the situation.

■ If you have children, keep them in mind as a way to control your feelings.

■ Do a course for people who have just separated, and talk to others who are going through tough times.

■ Walk or go to the gym and invest in your own body.

■ Try and get plenty of sleep.

For access to private psychologists in your area, contact the APS Find a Psychologist Service on the toll free number 1800 333 497 or conduct your own search on the APS website at findapsychologist.org.au