I’ve come to the conclusion that Australian Ninja Warrior is a strange, strange show indeed.
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For a start, in all the episodes I’ve watched of this show I have yet to see a single ninja.
And, while my knowledge of ninja behaviour is far from voluminous, I’m pretty sure they never once had to swing on hot pink tyres or hold on tight to those punching bag things.
At the end of the day, what those hot pink things dangling over the above ground pool represent is the adult version of a kids’ play centre.
I’m surprised they haven’t put a giant ball pit in there somewhere. Or maybe a cafe so the spectators can relax and pretend to be watching the kids.
The obstacle course over water harks back to the likes of Almost Anything Goes and It’s a Knockout.
Those shows were created with the average contestant in mind, those who didn’t mind making a fool out of themselves by trying to climb up a soapy ramp or getting clobbered and falling into the pool.
But Australian Ninja Warrior is designed for a very different type of contestant. That would be guys who feel compelled to run the course without a shirt and girls who need their whole squad there cheering them on.
I don’t like those sorts of people, so I take great joy in watching them fail.
That doesn’t mean I hate those who complete the course, oh no, no, no.
I also find those who finish the course amusing.
They raise their arms in triumph as though they've accomplished something incredible and not just climbed across a brightly-coloured child’s play gym.
And let’s not forget the commentators – all three of them. Not sure why they need three people to commentate on someone climbing around on playground equipment, but they do.
The two main commentators do an incredible job of pretending to be really, really excited by what’s happening (they have to be pretending right? They can’t truly be that into it).
It’s those two who put in the most effort of anyone in the show – just trying to make it look way more exciting than it really is.