Why Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would NOT LIKE Wollongong

Britain's Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Photo: AP
Britain's Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Photo: AP

Both Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be visiting Australia next month as part of their first major royal tour.

Sadly, despite an invitation from NSW Labor’s Illawarra spokesman Ryan Park, the popular royal couple will not be adding the region to their itinerary.

Dubbo, yes. Wollongong, no.

It’s probably just as well. How could they possibly enjoy a visit to the Illawarra? 

Our beaches are a bit dull

Incredibly dull actually.

Yawn.

Photo: Emily Parisi

Photo: Emily Parisi

Our footballers can’t even do their recovery sessions at the beach.

There’s nowhere nice to stay.

Photo: Ocean Farm, Gerringong

Photo: Ocean Farm, Gerringong

And our sunsets are pretty average.

No royal has ever been here before.

Probably because we’re not very festive.

You can’t even get close to the wildlife.

Photo: Symbio Wildlife Park

Photo: Symbio Wildlife Park

And the industrial views are so depressing.

Photo: Symbio Wildlife Park

Photo: Symbio Wildlife Park

Nothing to see here.

Photo: Kramer Photography

Photo: Kramer Photography

The waterslides are lame.

Photo: Jamberoo Action Park

Photo: Jamberoo Action Park

Our national parks are nothing special.

Our civic leaders are a bit shy.

There’s really nothing to do but lay around.

Admit it. Wollongong just doesn’t have much going for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

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