After the loss of a loved one, this time of year can be difficult for many in our community. At a time of rejoicing, family get togethers and reunions, some are steeped in sorrow, dread and loneliness.
Grief is different for everyone, there is no hard or fast rule about how to grieve or the length of time we should grieve. Often during this festive period, the bereft may put on a brave face for others so as not to burden them with their own feelings.
Holiday seasons will come and go as will other special event dates like birthdays and anniversaries and with each one we learn to cope a little better with the acceptance that life goes on regardless.
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Some tips to help cope at this time of year may include:
- Understand that these times will now be different and tough
- Create a new tradition in memory of a loved one. Personalised items can help, add an engraved bauble or light a candle in their memory so they are included in the festivities
- Get the family to write down happy memories you treasure and share them around the table
- Be honest, tell people what you DO want to do for the holidays and what you DON’T want to do
- Don’t send cards or minimise decorating the house this year if it is too overwhelming
- Don’t feel guilty about not sending cards or decorating the house
- Drive yourself to events so you can leave if it becomes all too much
- Remember it is ok to be happy and joyful at times
- Seek gratitude - each day write down something you are grateful for
- Accept kindness, as people do care about you
- Cry if you need to, cry with others so you can all end up smiling about it when it’s done
- Accept that others may be distant, either they are feeling the loss too or just don’t quite know what to say for fear they may stir your sadness
- Seek assistance, seek a counsellor, a doctor or a friend who understands your grief. Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue – 1300 22 46 36
- Go easy on the alcohol as this will only extenuate the grief
- Be kind to yourself, take time to do something pleasant or decadent just for you
- Remember that you loved, you were loved and you are still loved
The professional and caring team at H. Parsons funeral directors understands the challenges of grief and wish to extend their acknowledgement and season greetings to all the families who put their trust in them during 2018.
H. Parsons’ services are available 24 hours a day seven days a week even during public holidays. For assistance or to make an appointment, please call 4228 9622.