How much of her abuse does she have to share with the reader? And is the reader even entitled to expect more information than Carey is willing to give?

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Carey's book No Matter Our Wreckage comes with the added devastating wrinkle that her mother found out about the abuse, but did not act to stop it.

When reading trauma memoirs like No Matter Our Wreckage it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking "if they're being so open about this terrible time in their lives, why would they hold anything back?"

But, if sexual assault includes a loss of control over what happens to their own bodies, then surely the author should be allowed some control over how much of it they reveal to others.

"By writing my book I opened the doors of my life and let all those reading it inside," Carey said.

"To some extent, I even let readers poke around a bit. But I spent a great deal of time thinking about what I owe the reader. Do you need every salacious detail? Every stomach-churning moment of what it is to live through and with abuse?

"In the end, I decided that that isn't where the power of trauma memoir lies. What is important is showing how trauma has flowed through every part of mine and other people's lives. How we learn to live with it. How we overcome it.

"To write a trauma memoir means meeting yourself in the darkness and committing some of that darkness to the page.

"But it does not necessarily follow that everything we find in that darkness needs to be revealed to others - for one's own sake, or for the sake of readers.

"Crucially, it does not mean that people are entitled to know everything you find there."

She began writing her story as a cathartic exercise for herself, to help "put the blame and shame finally in the right places", rather than mistakenly carrying that weight herself.

"My goal, once I realised I was writing a book, was to write what I had needed when I was younger," she said.

"I hope it finds its way into the hands of every young woman, or grown woman, who needs it.

"Who needs to know they did not bring this on themselves, that they do not need redemption."

Gemma Carey is taking part in the Traumatised Bodies panel discussion as part of the Wollongong Writers Festival.

The panel takes place online at 1pm on Saturday. For more information visit www.wollongongwritersfestival.com

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