A Wollongong man who used ill-gotten sex tapes of his wife to blackmail and control her has walked from court with a clean criminal record.
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Over a period of about five years, the man ignored his wife's repeated requests to delete the intimate material he was amassing. He threatened to distribute the videos and destroy the woman's career after their relationship soured and a divorce neared.
On Monday Wollongong Local Court heard the man had encouraged his wife to send him videos of her performing sex acts on herself during a period in their relationship when he was working away from home. She complied, sending about 50 videos over those two years.
Later, she found some of the videos on his phone and ask him to delete them, but never checked that he did so.
The pair lived together again in 2019. The court heard the woman knew he was videoing her during sex, but that she never liked it and repeatedly asked him to delete the resulting videos.
On another occasion, the woman only became aware the man was filming her while in the midst of a sex act on their wedding anniversary. She asked the next day for him to delete the video.
The woman later found reason to suspect her husband had been unfaithful, and left the marital home.
She publicly shared her concerns about his infidelity in a post to social media, only to receive a chilling private text message from him in reply.
"Back down and delete it or else ... now. ... you have 10 mins otherwise I will end your career."
The woman replied, "go for your life ... you've ruined me, just top it off".
"Sweet, I'm going to release all our sex tapes and videos of you racking cocaine," he wrote.
The woman quickly agreed to take the post down and attended Wollongong Police Station later that day.
She told officers she was fearful her husband would distribute the videos "as he has lost control of her".
The man, who cannot be publicly identified in order to protect the woman's privacy, later sent her a message retracting his threat to distribute any images, but he was arrested that night.
He allowed police into his home and handed over his mobile phone and laptop, admitting, "there was a social media piece that she posted. I [was] very disappointed [and] angry, it defaces [sic] me. I just didn't like it, I retaliated".
He admitted the damning messages were "all on my phone" and police seized his mobile phone and laptop, which were then kept at the police station as exhibits.
He initially pleaded not guilty to multiple charges, but after negotiations pleaded guilty earlier this month to a single count of threaten to distribute intimate image without consent.
On Monday sentencing magistrate Michael O'Brien ordered that all intimate images kept by the man be removed by him in the presence of a police officer before his devices are returned to him.
Magistrate O'Brien noted the man's clean criminal history and found he had shown remorse and contrition, and was unlikely to reoffend.
"He's had cause to reflect on his behaviour generally. He accepts it's without justification whatsoever and that at the time the threat would have caused great concern to the complainant if these images were released to the public in an uncontrolled way."
"Nevertheless, the offence is reflective perhaps of the modern climate in which we live, in which communications are instantaneous and can have widespread damage. I am satisfied it was an impulsive reaction, rather than [an act with] the consequences thought through."
The man was placed on a six-month conditional release order, with no conviction recorded.
The court also issued a 12-month apprehended violence order.
Read more Illawarra court and crime stories here.
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