For many people, the death of a loved one is a time to pull together and lean on family and friends left behind.
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But, after three decades working at Wollongong City Council's memorial gardens and cemeteries, John Chilby says he's lost count of the times he's seen a family broken apart because of misunderstandings about the legal and administrative decisions that need to be made when someone dies.
"It causes more grief and break-ups between families, so we want to try and prevent things like this from happening when someone dies," the operations manager said.
"I've seen it destroy families."
"There's a lot of stuff that happens, the legal stuff, that people don't understand what their rights are. You could have a family member who wants to choose something after death like burial or cremation, but they haven't got the authority."
"It could be how the person is going to be memorialised - are they going to be cremated, are they going to be scattered, what's the wishes of that person."
This is why Wollongong City Council is hosting a workshop at the end of this month to get people talking about death and dying.
The council will host a free morning tea and talk to allow people to learn more about legal considerations, managing grief and bereavement, the benefits of memorialisation and the importance of having conversations about death.
With the event being held during the council's Seniors Week, Mr Chilby said it was partly aimed at older people, but hoped it would also attract middle aged family members who may need to consider their options as their parents or relatives age.
"What we know from our experience working with the community is that many people can be uncomfortable thinking or talking about death and dying," Mr Chilby said.
"As challenging as it can be, we know that talking about death helps people prepare themselves or the loved ones in their lives. It can be a difficult subject to start but it's one we need to encourage.
"As I always say to people, taking about chocolate doesn't make you fat, so if you talk about death you're not going to die."
For those who can't attend the event in person, the council will also be live streaming the session online from 9.30am.
The event will be held at Wollongong Memorial Gardens, 176 Berkeley Road Unanderra, from 9.30-11am on March 30.
Guest speakers include author of A Good Death Margaret Rice, Bianka Eifler from the Illawarra Shoalhaven Local Health District and Margot Kennedy from Wollongong Wills & Estate Planning.
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