Crimes against nature, calls for a public drowning, panic of a "yellow peril", giant inflatable animals, late-night decapitation.
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No, this is not a story about witchcraft, some hooded clandestine meeting deep in the woods ... or worse. This is public art.
Bold, large and increasingly becoming part of modern cities thanks to progressive councils, public art works often make waves as something people love to hate.
The Illawarra is lucky its councils have embraced some high-impact works - the Wonderwalls festival, for instance, has left gifts that transform an urban street for decades to come.
Part-way up Mt Keira Bert Flugelman's Winged Figure stands and shines gloriously, a tribute to Lawrence Hargrave's early efforts at flying in the Illawarra.
But others are less accepted - look no further than Mike Hewson's whimsical work in Wollongong's Crown St Mall, popularly known as the Palm Tree Up a Pole. It has been pilloried by some, described as a 'crime against nature', and even set on fire last New Year's Eve.
Vandalism is an extreme reaction - although not the only time trees in that mall have been attacked. Not as extreme as when Bruce Ruxton said one sculptor should be drowned in the lake in front of his artwork, such was the steaming offence that consumed the late former RSL president.
His target was Greg Taylor's Down by the Lake with Liz and Phil, two figures on a bench beside Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra in 1995. Trouble sprung from the fact this particular Liz wore a crown, making her the (now late) Queen, the figure beside her Prince Philip. The two were naked, wrinkled, completely un-regal. The lake was Ruxton's suggested murder site for the artist, not the only death threat the artist reported.
Liz was later decapitated by a midnight hacksaw raid, attacks on Phil followed - apparently in defence of their honour.
The presence of the royals here sent this reaction over the edge, and there are plenty of pathways to getting offended.
The council governing Bribie Island in Queensland had to re-align a "strategic bush" after complaints a sculpture of Venus at the community art centre was clearly showing genitalia and a visitor "didn't know where to look".
But Liz's decapitation was hardly the only time public art reaction has spilled beyond cranky letters to the editor.
Even Wollongong's new public art strategy puts the fact some works are hated, right at the start of the Lord Mayor's introduction - stirring up debate is listed before celebrating expression.
Has it always been this way, and must it? Did the early cave paintings start fights?
Certainly the public positioning of major works demand a piece stand out rather than blend in. Make it too pleasing and it risks being easily ignored, arts writer Kate Hennessy recently wrote in the New York Times style magazine T.
"Public artworks can't be just ordinary, they have to be extraordinary", National Gallery of Australia director Nick Mitzevich told Hennessy.
Of course one person's extraordinary can be another person's abomination - and given the location is often a prominent one, strong opinions are likely.
Artist and lecturer in modern art at the University of Wollongong Dr Kim Williams knows the side of the commissioned artist. She created the water features at the Shellharbour Civic Centre and Bellambi's beloved "fish sign", among others. Williams said it's healthy people form strong opinions about art, discuss it, share points of view from different walks of life.
"There's a sense of ownership of public art ... if you live in a place those kinds of artefects become part of your world," she said. "It's in public, so it's not just aesthetics. People might say it's dangerous, or it's spoiling the view - there's other issues besides the pure aesthetics.
"There's the cultural appropriateness. Recently a sculpture commemorating the Second World War was put up on the top of Hill 60 in Port Kembla. For some people that would be a fitting tribute for soldiers, but at the same time, is it an appropriate cultural object for a place that was very much an Aboriginal place?
"There are different levels of commissions - it's more complex than just the object that you see walking by."
Some of the most successful examples of public art are those that spark a childlike reaction. Think of Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman's giant yellow rubber duckie, which made its debut in Sydney's Darling Harbour in 2013, reappeared in Parramatta the following year. Another was spotted on a pond in Canberra's Floriade.
Less simple was Patricia Piccinini's Skywhale, a giant hot air balloon commissioned to mark the centenary of Canberra. Like Salvador Dali and Monty Python's Flying Circus collaborating on an episode of the Octonauts, it was mocked at first but its sheer scale and splendour made it a popular attraction well beyond Canberra.
Williams mentioned Ron Robertson-Swann's 1980 steel sculpture Vault, which caused such a stink it was removed from Melbourne's CBD, derided as the "Yellow Peril". Years later we still wonder, was it too complicated, or too simple?
A common criticism is "I could have done that" - which probably isn't true. US artist Craig Damrauer wrote the equation Modern Art = I could do that + Yeah but you didn't.
The other frequent sneer is the cost. But as the current Port Kembla Wonderwalls festival is showing, art can be a relatively inexpensive way to transform drab walls into something colourful that raises a smile.
"People might say 'I hate it, it's a waste of money'," Williams said. "Public art, it does cost money - but it is all relative, isn't it? The cost of other public infrastructure can far outstrip commissioning someone to create a work of public art, and yet often arts are relegated to little bits of icing on the cake, that they're not central to life.
"But I would argue that art is central to life. What would happen if you took away people's music, their television, their films and the works of arts on the walls, and their books and their poems? People would not be very happy about that.
"Well guess what? They're the art."
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