But make sure when you gotta go, you find an appropriate place to go.

That’s the moral of this story – something a Windang man learnt the hard way last week.

Patrick Woodley, 18, was left with little doubt after a brief but sobering appearance in Wollongong Local Court on Thursday that the side of a building was not an appropriate place to relieve oneself, despite how dire the situation may have been.

Woodley was ordered to front the court in December after a police officer caught him urinating against a doorway in an alcove near The Grand Hotel in Wollongong in the early hours of October 10 last year.

A NSW Police Force penalty notice tendered to the court said when the officer questioned him about his actions, Woodley responded: “I was challenged to a sword fight, so I took the challenge”.

He was charged with behaving in an offensive manner in a public place, as was one of Woodley’s mate, who was caught in the same compromising position.

Representing himself in court on Thursday, Woodley told Magistrate Michael Stoddart he hadn’t been in the CBD long that night and had only had a couple of drinks when felt the call of nature.

“The lineup to get into the hotel was long, it can sometimes take 10 minutes to get inside but on a busy day it can take up to 40 minutes,” he said.

“There wasn’t anyone else around...I went into a secluded area.”

However, Magistrate Stoddart wasn’t taking any excuses.

“It’s appalling behaviour sir; disgusting,” he said.

“Think before you act next time.”

He sent Woodley away with a $300 fine.