It seems Married At First Sight constructed a scaffold cleverly disguised as a reunion room, whereupon the scarlet letter A was burned into its inhabitants' and viewers psyche as one of shame and sinning on the proviso you were male and especially went by the names Andrew and Anthony.
Funnily enough, the only potentially adulterous one (if you can really call her that given this is in fact only a dating show), Scarlett, was absent from proceedings. Which was entirely unsurprising and wise after she was put on the spot at the final dinner party by "psycho" Cheryl, whose TV husbands were far more tempting than her own picky groom, Michael.
Why on earth would anyone want to be subjected to any further reunion clashes is beyond me, but cut to the room of doom and several of the firey match-ups/fails are being forced to sit awkwardly next to each other and endure the relationship experts' spotlight on their relationships.
First in the hot seat was Anthony, who was reminded about how excited he was to see Nadia on their wedding day. As Anthony described his relief over having "a good sort" in Nadia, his estranged bride teared up as he concluded: "It was a nice moment... I didn't come in with any expectations, I left it up to you guys so it was a pleasant surprise."
"Nadia I can see that this is making you upset," a particularly eagle-eyed John Aiken points out. "Can you tell us a little bit of what is going on inside of you right now?"
Quite simply she shook her head as her face melted in tears and she made a quick exit, away from the cameras, to recover.
Upon returning, she told the experts why she struggled with Anthony's comments. "Because it's very confusing, it's a really fine line between insincerity and truth because at the end of the day I guess it's the fact that he says all the right things but there's no substance to it."
"Well Nadia I can see that it's a very difficult time for you right now," thanks again Captain Obvious ... but wait there's more. "We will give you a moment ..." isn't that nice " ...but we'll come back to you and Anthony a little bit later."
Now to stripper Mike. When asked to answer the sin of superbia (pride), Scarlett's ex Michael was unrepentant about his desires for a petite woman, weighing 60 kilograms, with "cute" little ears. "If someone comes in at 65 [kg] that's not going to worry me... What I like, is what I like."
John must have felt he was revisiting hell when made to watch his wedding video again because he was sweating so much that he felt "embarrassed, very".
So when Jonathan gets grilled by the experts about his texting Scarlett while with Cheryl, it should come as no surprise that he too felt the heat. "I'm not surprised, at all," says his ex-Cheryl. "As I've heard you're a cheater so once a cheater always a cheater." His defence was that he communicated better with Scarlett but "it was normal conversation, I have no problem there". As to wasting Cheryl's time: "What can I say?"
Any regrets? Hell, no. "I hope I didn't make too much of an idiot of myself."
The only real feel good moment was left to Simon and Alene who were "surprisingly" headed towards love and happily ever after, with Susan and Sean hot on their heels after they earlier revealed that they were visiting each other according to their rosters. Yet it was hard to accept any suggestion that something was possibly blooming between the Queensland cowboy and Perth truck driver after Susan reportedly on Sunday slammed the show for being fake.
So moving on to Cheryl and Andrew's second chance at failed love. "In a way it's hard not to feel a bit like you're at the losing end after having two failed goes at a relationship," Andrew says to the 'yeah right' mocking looks of Lauren and Cheryl.
But the reverend Aiken is now about to perform the last rights as he reveals that everyone is going to watch "what actually happened" on the infamous 'Boys' Night' to the surprising response of "good" from Anthony and laughter and smiles from Cheryl and Andrew. "I was waiting for this... Are you getting a bit hot?" Cheryl asks of Andrew to which he replied: "Shyeah, a little."
"Mate don't worry about it," says a confident Anthony. Okaaaayyyyyyyy. But plenty of the women's faces fell upon hearing what Andrew had to say on the video, including him miming Cheryl's rather chesty features (although the 'Boys Night' did sound edited down for national TV audiences compared what was possibly shown to those in the room). And after watching, Anthony offered up this insight: "The music makes it a hell of a lot more dramatic than it was."
"Wow so going to you Andrew, did that just refresh your memory?" asks his smiling judge, jury and executioner.
"Yeah well, absolutely. That was pretty brutal actually. Brutally honest. Yeah look it's not easy looking at that because that's not me, that's not who I am. I honestly tried my heart out the whole time, I felt like I was polite, courteous, flexible, understanding. The boys' night is just a snippet and it is the worst snippet."
"Cheryl you seemed to smirk a little bit, do you not believe Andrew when he says that?" asks Aiken, who gets caught up in the bloodlust.
"Initially I did believe Andrew and we went back into the experiment, both trying, but I went to the girls' night being hopeful, but obviously I went in with a different approach to that week as Andrew did. But I did, kind of, get to a point 'are you even here to make this work or are you here for the brotherhood?'... I think he wanted to hang around and have fun."
"Look I have to disagree there, maybe going into the girls' night you were looking to try but I went into our experiment within the experiment, the whole time looking to try. I didn't get that impression from Cheryl.
"So in context what I meant was, things weren't going too well so I was, you know, staring that way."
Say whaaaaatttttt? ARE YOU HONESTLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE BOOBS INCIDENT, flashes across expert Mel Schilling's face.
A bumbling Andrew starts digging his own grave. "Obviously it was a joke about ... I'm going to dig deep here, I mean it was so light-hearted it was just impossible to explain. Comments like that are said in context for a reason at a boys night."
Even his former defenders, the Perth twins don't look too impressed. But just to make sure that the branding iron was nice and hot, Dr Aiken turned to the mob. "Yeah if someone was making crass comments about Alene, I'd say, you know, 'shut your friggin' mouth'," Simon responds after Sean has repeated his own chivalrous comments.
But an unrepentant Andrew fails to bow down to his sins and ask forgiveness. "Look we have all gone through our ups and downs and some bigger than others and when things are up the brotherhood are all you have, so it's all about context; 100 per cent about context."
Schilling, however, isn't done with her sermonising. "OK we're talking about the context here, and of course it's all about how it's perceived: A man commenting on a woman's anatomy amongst other men, making those resentful comments, you know at the end of the day it's about how it's perceived by the woman it's about."
So an unforgiving Aiken sentences Andrew to a life of social media hell. "Those sort of comments, you can't come back from that." No wonder Andrew has gone into hiding.
Still unsatisfied, Aiken continued:" OK just so we can drill down on this, what do you think Andrew; did you not believe that?"
"It's nothing that I would ever mean to offend anybody or anyone, things weren't going well for me. Cheryl has got some great attributes but things weren't going well for me. It appears that there's an intensity to my demeanour and partly I guess there was, it's not good to watch that at all. A lot of people don't understand how I'm feeling in those moments and I can that those words, and I know it's horrible - I'm the biggest judge of my won character - so it's not nice to say anything negative like that, we can put a really dark blot on it for sure but not the way it was intended and not the way I would hope you would take it."
Still Cheryl shrugs it off. "I'm not offended at the boob comment whatsoever, I've got fake boobs, I get it all the time. And I'm all for banter but not banter about someone you're trying to make a relationship work with."
So any regrets Andrew? "Yeah look, everyone's going to have regrets, it's not the perfect way to handle that situation at all but it was me talking about how frustrated I was about my part in this whole journey." You're not helping yourself out here mate.
Any last words? "Apparently I can be quite cocky, which there might be a bit of truth in that but you know we've been through an amazing experience so hopefully that's something we can share forever and we can still remain friends."
Yeah, no thanks, says Cheryl in not so many words, to scoffs by Lauren. "We really appreciate you giving it your 100 per cent and we wish you all the best," says Aiken to the disbelieving looks of Anthony.
So on to Andrew's side-kick, or soon-to-be side kicked Anthony. The experts play the tape of a condensed version of all Anthony's more sniping comments about the other couples that left even him grimacing.
"I standby most of the stuff I've done through out this experiment, I came in with the right intentions and I did call a spade, a spade," he says. "At times I probably got involved with other relationships and their drama when I probably didn't need to, but you're in this intense environment and I guess I took upon myself to say some of the more confronting things that others may have thought but not necessarily said."
Any regrets? "I guess my main regret is the attack that I had on Cheryl because it was probably out of line and uncalled for and I could have just chosen my words better."
Still Nadia knows him best and she is out for answers. "But why are you saying that do you think? ... Is it because of the way that she feels or is it because of the way that maybe you're perceived? That's my question," probes Nadia to grateful smiles by Cheryl.
Anthony: "I standby what I said and the principles behind it but I should just have chosen my words better."
After being described as "one of the stellar couples" that ultimately failed by the experts, Nadia really let loose on Anthony, and rightly so.
"I guess when the cameras stopped rolling and Anthony switched off... I feel like maybe Anthony needs to describe what happened because I'm a bit confused. He basically just cut it. It was quite brutal," she admitted.
"I was incredibly hurt by the situation and I'm being incredibly honest, I'm sorry if it makes you upset saying this but I have to speak my truth.
"And how it occurs for you is very different but you didn't give it a chance and you didn't give me a chance outside this whole experiment, instead you ran away.
"And I've spent so much time in this experiment, investing in us and opening my heart to you and that feels so disrespectful. And I just sort of think to myself 'what even is this, what even happened, like how can you say all of that on that last day yet the next day turn around and say 'it's done'?'"
They may not have heard the soaring cello strings that TV viewers heard, but the tears still began to flow around the room, with Susan welling up, Sharon putting a consoling hand on Nick's knee and Alene putting back her head to wipe away the bubbling emotion.
Anthony: "I hear what you're saying and I can see how it appears that way. i'm really sorry that's the way you feel. I wish things were different. Unfortunately for me, my feelings didn't grow to that level where I thought I could fall in love, Nadia. And ultimately everyone in this room came in here wanting to fall in love and it didn't happen for me. So I'm really sorry that I've let you down."
Nadia: "It's not even the concept of love, it's more the concept of a friendship and I felt like I couldn't even rely on you as a friend. To go through this experiment and live by your side, it just seems to be that this entire process all you've been concerned about is the ramifications of you and how you are perceived, nothing to do with me."
Anthony simply apologised again, as Nadia went on to reveal that she felt blindsided because she was planning to move to Sydney. "I'm so glad I didn't because that would have been awkward."
When pushed by the experts about what could have happened differently to save the relationship, he responded: "I just think communication would have been better ... just in the way that we interacted with each other, with that separation, with that distance and we just struggled through that time."
He claimed they didn't grow outside the experiment. "I'm quite comfortable at this point, I'll look forward so there's no point dragging that up."
And for Nadia, she finally got her answer that "it wasn't authentic". Instead she was going to take away from the experiment that she had grown as a person and learnt R.E.S.P.E.C.T. ("just a little bit").
Finally Nick and Sharon shared their plans for her to move to Melbourne, with her finally admitting on camera that "I love Nick".