The man, who cannot be named to protect the identity of his two children, yesterday asked Wollongong Local Court to vary his strict bail conditions so he could be permitted to speak to and see his wife.

The man has been barred from having any contact with his wife since he was arrested in September.

He yesterday sought to have the order preventing their communication lifted, telling the court through his lawyer that he would agree to meet with her when she was not in the company of the couple’s two young children.

However, Magistrate Michael Stoddart denied the request, saying he thought the man was ‘‘damn lucky’’ to have been released on bail at all.

‘‘I think your bail should stay the same,’’ he said.

‘‘These are extremely serious matters.’’

The man is accused of directing his young son, who was wearing no pants or underwear at the time, to act in a sexual way towards the female friend.

The woman objected, allegedly saying to the man ‘‘don’t tell him to do that’’. However she told police the boy tried to do it, prompting the man to laugh and say ‘‘good boy’’.

The woman claimed she saw the man act sexually towards both his children on other occasions over a period of about a month.

The man is facing a single charge of inciting a victim under the age of 10 to commit an indecent act.

The court heard police were also in possession of a video allegedly from the man’s mobile phone which further strengthened their case against the man.

The matter will return to court on January 22.