Now this is what I call an elimination final. It helps immeasurably if we care at least a little bit about the people who might be going home, and in this case we do, twice over.
Like them or loathe them, Helena and Vikki are a couple of the strongest personalities on the show, and for this they make good television.
And no one can really loathe Harry and Christo, can they? They're a pair of dags, but they're fun and friendly and are clearly the favourites of most other teams on the show.
The stage is set for a decent showdown.
Before they even start cooking, Helena and Vikki are fighting back tears. They want to open their own small business involving food, so success here means a lot to them. They say will need two brains today, and not their usual (shared) one, and this induces some witchy cackling from the balcony, where Chloe and Kelly are rubbing their gnarled fingers together in anticipation of the twins' potential departure.
Harry and Christo are doing tuna carpaccio for their entree, with some kind of fancy citrus sauce. It's their go-to “date dish”, which has (Juliet) Bianca leaning over the balcony and asking why it hasn't been cooked for her and Thalia. “It is, tonight!” the boys reply.
They're struggling with cutting the tuna though, the thin slices aren't holding together, which has Manu helpfully recommend, out of earshot, that they wet the blade of the knife.
Not being privy to such tips, Harry instead elects to cut the tuna lengthways, and it works. They're in business.
Helena and Vikki are meanwhile prepping their entree of mussels saganaki with pita bread, and Helena masterfully chops a tomato with one hand. “I can't believe she's single,” quips one of those surfer Dads, for some reason lumped together with Josh on the balcony as they collectively ogle at Helena's knife skills. “She'll be a hot commodity,” muses another Dad. Really, producers?
Harry describes the boys' entree to Manu. “I know you don't really like raw garlic, but we think it adds a lot of flavour to it,” he says. “Er, think about what you just said!” says Manu, lips pursed, brow furrowed. Harry decides to proceed. We like it the Frenchman is defied.
The tuna, raw garlic and all, goes over a treat with the judges.
“Is it too simple?” asks Karen Martini. “No,” she says, complimenting the acidity of the dressing. We daresay it's the hero of this dish.
'The raw garlic - it's not a huge issue!” says Manu, flabbergasted.
Pete is wearing a plum blazer, and it looks ridiculous, but it is his most noteworthy contribution to this episode.
The girls' entree is also well received, although perhaps not as emphatically as the tuna was. That the Tassie girls prefer the tuna surprises no one.
Christo or Harry enrages women's groups nationwide by referring to the tuna as a “girly” entree. To compensate, they're doing a brontosaurus-sized steak for their main - a wagyu filet with bearnaise sauce and truffle chips. Manu, aka Sauce, informs them that the bearnaise is one of his top three sauces of all time, at which point Christo goes a bit pale. It's his Mum's recipe, so if Manu doesn't like it it will break her heart.
The twins are doing another Greek dish for their main - eggplant moussaka. They're adding an egg to their bechamel sauce, which raises the eyebrows of their Perth nemeses. “Maybe it's a Greek thing,” they muse, and you'd think that being the gourmet travellers that they are, Chloe and Kelly might be a little more au fait with traditional Greek cooking.
“There's a lot of talk about moussaka not being a competition dish,” says Carly, voicing what we're all thinking. “Well, I say anything that's done well is a competition dish,” she says, reminding us of how judgemental we all are.
On the other side of the kitchen, Harry has gone into panic mode, and starts slapping the steaks on the just-turned-on grill plate as those watching from the balcony bite their lips. That pair of nice-but-bland Mums express concern, which makes us concerned, as those Mums seem to know what they're talking about.
Helena and Vikki are beginning to squabble a bit as stress sets in. The blonde one also appears to have lost the plot, she's given her single-serve moussakas good Greek names - Voula, Con, Maria and the like - and says they need to be looked after as if they are her children.
The Perth coven of two snigger at the twins' “rustic” dish but unfortunately do not fall from the balcony.
The judges agree that Harry and Christo's bearnaise is to-die-for, but the rest of the plate is something of a write-off, with soggy chips and raw steak. The fat has not been rendered and is therefore inedible.
The moussaka gets a good rap in the main, though Karen finds it a bit oily and Guy Grossi says his eggplant was a bit undercooked. Liz Egan is all about the dish's rusticity. Take that, Perth.
Onto dessert, and Harry and Christo are doing an espresso creme brulee with something Christo describes as “panaforte”. He appears to have gotten his sweets confused with his painkillers, but we know what he means.
“Harry, you're great with a blow torch,” calls Bianca from the balcony, at which point even her bestie looks a little embarrassed.
The twins' banana and raspberry cakes with lemon curd and sweet dukkah have come to resemble cupcakes with slapped-on icing, possibly assembled by their moussaka children, Voula and Con, and the witches upstairs are getting their party poppers ready.
Karen, queen of the euphemism, describes the presentation of the cupcakes as “very casual”, and for Manu, there are just too many flavours.
The brulee though, isn't much better - the flavours are there, but the consistency is more like a thickshake, and the hard-to-please Colin looks ready to walk off the set as he inspects the sludge in his ramekin.
The final scores and critiques are given, and Harry and Christo's tuna is named dish of the day, while Christo gets a kiss from Manu for his brilliant bearnaise.
“At this stage we're not really sure who's won 'cos we can't really count,” say the twins as the dust settles, but much to the dismay of Chloe and Kelly, it is Helena and Vikki who emerge victorious, with 40 points to the boys' 33 out of 60.
Bianca sheds tears, and we think we hear her (or was it Thalia?) call out “I love you!” as Harry and Christo exit the kitchen for the last time.
We kind of loved them too; those sub-par chefs and their daft charms will be missed. But Vikki and Helena have always been good value, and their ongoing rivalry with Chloe and Kelly is something to stay tuned for.