OPINION
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A couple of months back I got pulled over by a cop on my way to the shop. I'd noticed the kick arse-looking V8 Commodore (paid for by me) when I passed him and was surprised when he pulled out to follow me.
As I rolled down my window he said words to the effect of: "I am advising you at this point in time that this conversation is being recorded by a device located upon my person. We are also presently being filmed by a device mounted in the patrol car that you will see is currently located behind you in a northerly direction. Do you understand the information that I have just conveyed to you using my mouth to cause soundwaves to travel to your ears? Can I see your driver's licence please?"
I handed Constable Wiggum my licence as 4-year-old Katie piped up from her booster seat in the back. "H-i-i-i-i Mr Poweeece-man!"
Then he said: "Are you aware the vehicle you are presently operating is currently unregistered?"
"WHAT?!"
My wife, Lizzie, handles all our bills and is usually a champ at paying (I do the cooking, FYI). But she'd dropped the ball on the ol' Hendo rego while working two jobs and whatnot.
"You're kidding!" I tried to reason with officer Wiggum, man to man.
"I'm just on my way to the shops mate. We've got another car at home and if I knew this one was unregistered there's no way I'd have driven it, right? How long have I been outta rego?"
"Five days."
"I'm literally four streets from home. What can we do in this situation? I'll happily turn around and drive home now under police escort and swap cars."
"Just stay seated in your conveyance until I return," Wiggum responded as he walked in a northerly direction towards his conveyance with my licence in possession of his person.
Five minutes later he was back -- surely to give me an escort home so I could swap cars and be let me off with a warning. He had to realise this was an unknowing contravention of the law. Surely he'd be touched, too, by gorgeous Katie and the silly "Powiiiiceman" song she was now singing.
But nooo, Chief Wiggum fined me $638 - essentially for nothing more than the late payment of a state government bill. It's a big hit to the family budget. Henderson was ropeable. So much so that ever since, I haven't missed an opportunity to put hate on cops. I've rummaged through decades' worth of my unhappiest encounters with NSW police during 25 years as a news reporter.
From last October onwards, whenever the subject of police came up, I couldn't wait to tell people about the Kings Cross detectives I once respected and had beers with who ended up in front of the Royal Commission into Police Corruption. Suddenly guys I'd looked up to were admitting to taking bribes from heroin dealers; cops I knew stole drugs and money during raids and shook down everyone from strip-club owners to the poor, desperate prostitutes.
Post-Wiggum, I'd tell anyone who'd listen about the time I saw a night-shift supervising sergeant arrive at a fatal hit-and-run so pissed he fell out of the car he'd just pulled up in (and or how junior officers helped him get back behind the wheel). Or the detective I knew who assured me he could source some "insanely good coke".
I'd recall the time I was pulled over for minor speeding by a pimply teenage kid who literally was fresh out of the Goulburn academy, only for him to tell me he was "sick and tired of scraping people like you off the roads".
I'd ridicule their silly police speak; their tales told to TV cameras of "persons gaining unlawful entry to a premises", of "young female persons decamping in a stolen conveyance", of "persons suspected of operating a clandestine facility for the purposes of preparing contraband for possible distribution and/or sale to parties unknown to police at this time".
I definitely told everyone who'd listen about the $638 travesty over person Hendo's unwitting operation of an unregistered conveyance.
But then after nearly four months of bitterness I heard a tale of a cop who was decent, fair and pure.
A cricket-loving Wollongong Highway Patrolman named Adam Tregonning who reminded me that most cops were reasonable, honest and principled human beings who do a dangerous and demanding job, cops who often have to put up with attitude from idiots like me.
Film of Senior Constable Tregonning getting stuck into a game of street cricket on Australia Day has gone around the world.
"Mind if I have a bat?", he asked people who'd set up a game in the Blue Mile precinct on Monday.
At first they thought he was going to move them along. But nah, he just wanted to have a bat and a bowl!
Thanks copper! You've stopped my downward cynical spiral over something that was pretty trifling.
You made me think of all the excellent cops I've known and the vast majority I'm sure who are smart, brave, humble and good natured.
Move over, Prince Philip.