Despite its name TV series Sharp Objects is a bit dull

One good thing about getting upgraded to the latest Foxtel box is I now have access to tonnes of extra shows – via on-demand.

One bad thing about getting upgraded to the latest Foxtel box is I now have access to tonnes of extra shows – via on-demand.

You see, I’ve gone a little crazy with the on-demand documentaries, downloading way too many.

Combine those with the shows I record each week and there are simply far too many things for me to ever get around to watching.

Which is why I’ve just managed to catch the first two episodes of HBO “thriller” Sharp Objects (on showcase), which debuted a month ago.

As you might have gathered by the inverted comments in the previous paragraph I found the show a little underwhelming.

Those first two episodes really dragged (I always give a new show two episodes because they have to spend a chunk of the first setting the scene before the story can really begin).

It. Is. Really. So. Very. Slow.

So slow that these first two episodes could have been combined into one without any problem.

The story is about alcoholic journalist Camille Preaker sent to the town she grew up in because there might be a serial killer there.

Once she arrives, she basically drinks a lot and deals with her extremely weird mother.

And that’s pretty much it. I distilled two episodes’ worth of plot into two sentences.

I have heard things pick up by the third episode, but that makes me even less interested in the show. You see, whether it’s a TV show, a movie, a book or whatever, I shouldn’t have to wade through a slow start waiting for it to “get good”.

That’s a failure of storytelling – it’s the writer’s job to get me interested right at the start. It’s not my job to be patient while they muck about trying to get their act together.

As an aside, it didn’t help matters that the writers seem to have no idea what journalists do (this is a regular bugbear of mine).

Preaker doesn’t interview anyone, doesn’t take notes and seems to spend days not writing anything for the paper.

So it's lucky for her absolutely no other media outlet has bothered to cover the story of a serial killer on the loose.