Ella Kosarew celebrated her 30th birthday recently but the milestone meant so much more, it was a sincere goodbye to someone she knew too well and a welcoming of the person she is to become.
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Formerly known as Jake, Ella has gone public as she begins her journey of transition from a fabulous broad-shouldered bald man to a fabulous bombshell broad.
She is confident and proud to tell people of her quest as she said the had been growing support in the Illawarra community towards people who identify as LGBTQIA+.
"I'm not scared to talk about it anymore," she told the Mercury ahead of her first hormone therapy appointment.
"When I'm in drag there's definitely that feeling of euphoria, I can feel myself - in the drag world they call it 'feeling your oats'. I think once I'm fully everything [a woman] I will be 'feeling my oats' every day, not just in drag."
Ella said she was prepared for naysayers and keyboard warriors but wanted to go public to give hope to others who may feel alone.
"It's more important to have visibility than for me to worry about [negative people]," she said.
"I would take a million people calling me a piece of s--- at the end of the day, if one little person sees this and is inspired, then that is enough."
Several friends of Ella's also are at different points in their own journeys and have become an unofficial support group for her. She said it reinforced how important it was to know someone else was going through the same thing.
Ella has been living as a gay man for much of her life, and while she no longer wants to be associated with Jake, she doesn't necessarily hate him - but aesthetically that is not who she wants to be.
I'm a proud trans woman, ready to start my journey of living the most authentic life.
- Ella Kosarew
Male baldness has contributed to Ella's self-doubt, embedding thoughts she would never be able to feel and look feminine despite her feelings.
But after stepping into drag as alter ego "Ella Warra" for the past four years, she slowly realised she could be whoever she wanted to be.
After making the revelation to start the journey by getting a hair transplant and beginning hormone therapy, she took to Instagram to declare she was ready to live her "most authentic life".
"I know I can't erase the last 30 years of my life," she declared.
"I love Jake and he's brought me on the journey to get me here, to who I am today ... but I'm taking the steps ... to create a body I feel comfortable living in."
Ella won't be able to get breast implants until after a year of hormones, but believes she has a good chance on her own as the women in her family are all well-endowed.
"The appearance is the only thing that I don't like about Jake, everything else is going to stay the same except the way I look and my name," she said.
The end goal is not to dress in drag every day, but to dress femininely for her new body and feel comfortable in the skin she is in.
"There's photos of me in preschool wearing the girls' skirts and my nails painted," Ella said.
"I was even angry at Mum for sending me to Edmund Rice College because I wanted to go hang out with my girlfriends that were going to Holy Spirit."
The transformation is expected to take many years and cost anywhere up to $200,000 depending on how her body reacts to the changes.
She could go overseas for much cheaper treatments, but Ella wants to do it all "by the book".
Currently, Ella is running a GoFundMe campaign to help with the costs of her hair transplant. If she doesn't raise the full amount, that's okay, as the platform is another way to tell her story.
"I want to inspire other people to be able to live their best life."
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