A girl at my high school was sent a bouquet of flowers the size of a Hyundai Excel.

Her doting boyfriend was the talk of Grade 10, and she was suddenly shot to higher status than some other has-been who’d been invited to the local boys school’s Year 12 formal by none other than their school captain.

When the truth came out that this girl had sent the flowers to herself and was actually single, she became more of a laughing stock than the girl who accidentally flashed the headmaster at the swimming carnival weeks earlier.

Valentine’s Day can be a very depressing day.

I’m not the only one who’s felt Valentine’s Day shame.

The only time more depressing as a singleton is New Year’s, but at least then you can get drunk and make out with a random.

It’s festive!

It would be rude not to.

I do have a Valentine this year, and I’m not too proud to admit I’m excited.

The last thing I got for Valentine’s Day was about seven years ago, and it was a UTI.

If you’re Valentine-less I suggest you treat yourself.

Netflix and chill.

Get yourself a block of Top Deck chocolate, order some Thai, wash it down with a tub of Connoisseur Cookies and Cream.

Maybe buy yourself some flowers and enjoy the full length of your sofa.

There’s also nothing wrong with mid-week Margarita’s.

Just stay away from the rom-coms.

Hey, it sounds a whole lot better than a UTI! 

Fairlie Hamilton is a presenter on i98FM.

Fairlie will write a weekly column on her take on life starting this Monday each week with the Illawarra Mercury.