The Donald Trump Presidential Library - would it have any books?

Picture if you will the Donald Trump presidential library. Whether it's next year or 2024, it's likely to be a thing.

These libraries are the monuments to past presidents built at huge expense (from a valedictory fundraising drive) usually in their hometown.

Filled with a selection of books and memorabilia, they're indulgent, sure, but a fitting way to mark a time as president . Plus, they give a particular breed of ageing men something to do after a sudden involuntary retirement. It's a long way down from Air Force 1, the G8 summit and the Situation Room, to having more time for gardening, and "spending time with the family".

Yes darling I know I said I wanted to spend more time with you but I was thinking, like, after the day's over, you know?'

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You can bet Melania's looking forward to spending more time with Donald. Finally some time to hear in more detail about how he felt he was robbed, how it was all rigged, how his crowds were unfairly accurately counted, how Fox News once interviewed a critic, how suburban women didn't like him, how they didn't stop counting the votes when he was ahead. So cruel! I could have been one of the greatest!

Melania had internal headphones installed years ago. Can't even see 'em.

Which brings us to the Trump Presidential Library, an edifice of artifice. He'll reject New York after it offers him only space on Hart Island, site of the COVID mass graves.

So Donald might soon be a man in search of a monument to himself. With Mount Rushmore already full (he tried) it's probably going to be installed next to a golf resort in Florida, which creates a great grifting opportunity to sell package tours and boost the family business.

But what goes in a library to a man who doesn't read? Time magazines perhaps, the ones where someone else was wrongly named man of the year.

Busts and statues of course, bigger than the ones his rivals had. An exclusive Madame Tussaud's waxworks of his family, and caricatures of other world leaders.

A series of skins for the FLOTUS-bot deployed seamlessly for certain trips.

A wonderful phone on which to have really beautiful phone calls. A framed letter from Vlad. Certain speeches playing on a loop. And the centrepiece, an interactive 'executive time' experience.

A series of rooms, each with a big TV, tuned to Fox, with McDonald's on tap and a phone so the visitor can get get inside the ex-Prez's head and tweet streams of whinges and threats until your time is up.

A modern monument to yesterday's man.

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