More than eight years after her first birth, Lis Legge's voice still shakes when she speaks about it.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
"I am still in shock from it - the experience will never leave me," she said, of the birth of her eldest son Josh in Wollongong Hospital.
The Calderwood mum, now 42, says she went into her first pregnancy trusting the medical system would have her best interests at heart.
But by the end of it - after a long and intense labour kick-started by an induction she felt pressured into and which ended with an emergency caesarean - she felt alone, traumatised and struggling to connect with her newborn baby.
"He was already wrapped when he was put on my chest, and I remember thinking, 'oh is that it', there was no connection," she said.
"I also couldn't hold him from my epidural side-effects, so he was on my chest for maybe two minutes and then they took him away. I was in recovery for more than two hours by myself without my baby."
She needed major surgery to recover from birth and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which forever clouded her first experience of motherhood.
"That was not a beautiful birth," she said.
"I felt broken, physically, and mentally by that experience. It's taken all the strength I have in me to come out the other side and be the mother my sons need."
Ms Legge, who is now a part of local birth advocacy group Better Births Illawarra, went on to have another birth in Wollongong Hospital three years later under the care of the sought-after Midwifery Group Practice program where women see the same midwives throughout their pregnancy and birth, and wants more women to have the chance to have a "healing birth".
She hopes to share her story at a newly set-up NSW parliamentary inquiry, which will hear from mothers and birthing parents, academics and healthcare providers about birth trauma.
"I'm ecstatic that this inquiry is happening, but I think change is going to be a long slow process - and I think many women, families and babies are going to be impacted until this is taken seriously," she said.
"I feel like my trauma happened to me because it was like I was just another woman giving birth, and there was no individualised care, no focus on me as a mother or my baby. We were a part of a big system, and there was no conversation with me about what I wanted.
"For instance, I had a plan for my induction, I wanted my waters to be broken and see if my body would go into labour naturally. But I was told I was here to have a baby today and we didn't have time for that, so they were going to start the [syntocinon] drip."
Animal Justice MLC Emma Hurst will chair the upper house select committee, which she said was first of its kind in Australia and will focus on investigating and preventing cases where maternity care providers had compounded or contributed to trauma.
The committee is inviting community members to make submissions, which can can be lodged through the inquiry webpage until Friday 11 August 2023.
Better Births Illawarra (BBI), which has for years been pushing for improved experiences for women in the region, has welcomed the inquiry.
BBI secretary Alyssa Booth, a doula and childbirth educator, said birth trauma was a widespread issue, with the organisation contacted by local women about it every week.
"Birth trauma can be psychological, emotional or physical trauma," she said.
"Sometime it can be a traumatic injury - perhaps through use of forceps or c-section that weren't wanted - but we also get lots of feedback about feeling coerced into decisions about their birth and that women aren't being listened to.
"With fragmented [antenatal] care, they sometimes feel lost, and they don't know who to ask questions to or when to ask questions. The other thing that comes up frequently is that people feel left or alone, especially post-c-section."
She said there were signs birth trauma was increasing, but also that more women were coming forward with their experiences as it becomes recognised.
"I think it's a combination that it is happening more, and also that women are able to put a name to it or recognise what it is - we get grandmothers attend some events and can finally put a name to what happened to them even through it was years ago," she said.
Our news app has had a makeover, making it faster and giving you access to even more great content. Download The Illawarra Mercury news app in the Apple Store and Google Play.
Ms Booth said highlighting and recognising birth trauma was vital for women and their families.
"This is the entrance to parenthood, and if we're sending parents home traumatised in a fight or flight state, that's not a good start to parenting," she said.
To further shine a light on birth trauma in the Illawarra, Better Births will this month host a Birth Trauma Awareness Event, where experts will share their insights on how to address the widespread issue.
"This event is to raise awareness of birth trauma, help families access the support they need to heal from trauma, and discuss strategies to prevent birth related trauma in the first place," Better Births Vice President Sharon Settecasse said.
The event will feature guest speakers including psychologists, obstetricians, midwives, childbirth educators and academics, with audience members able to ask questions and share their experiences.
It will be held at the University of Wollongong's McKinnon Building (room 67.104) of July 19 at 10am-12pm.
For help contact:
- Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7) or text 0477 13 11 14.
- Mental Health Line 1800 011 511.
- PANDA National Helpline (Monday to Saturday) 1300 726 306 or website. PANDA's National Perinatal Mental Health Helpline is Australia's only free national helpline for people affected by changes to their mental health and emotional wellbeing during the perinatal period.