The day after Lena’s boyfriend allegedly raped her, he sent her a card

"I'm so, so sorry about last night," he wrote. "I never meant to break [your] trust, especially in the physical, intimate sense."

It took Lena three months to gather the courage to walk into a busy police station in Melbourne's CBD and explain - in front of a queue - she wanted to report a rape.

Her alleged rapist was the son of an ex-policeman, and Lena feared this would skew the official response. Yet she longed for some kind of justice, for her report to be counted: "I wanted it to hold more significance than just quietly destroying my life."

But her experience of reporting it - including a police failure to properly record a phone call in which her ex-boyfriend admitted she had told him 'no' more than once - was devastating.

"It was probably more traumatic than anything else I've experienced in my whole life, including the rape," she says.

In the wake of the Harvey Weinstein sex assault scandal and the global #metoo response from women sharing their experiences on social media, two stark local examples show how gruelling it can be to make a report.

Thousands of women report rape every year in Victoria. There were more than 4300 police investigations in 2016-17, according to the state's crime stats agency.

The way data is gathered (by two separate agencies) makes it difficult to track matters through the courts.

But we do know only 41 people were sentenced for rape in Victoria's higher courts (where more serious cases are heard) in 2015-2016, according to the Sentencing Advisory Council.

After Lena reported the alleged rape, police asked if she would like to record a phone call to her rapist, for evidence against him.

Trembling with fear, she was taken to an interview room - without a support person - where she called her ex-boyfriend.

He agreed she had said "no" many times, but claimed it wasn't rape because he was her boyfriend, and she did not ask him to stop once it started, she says.

She emerged from the room exhausted, angry and in tears, but proud of having gone through with it.

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But when the officer plugged the device into a computer and pressed play, it became clear it had only recorded Lena's voice, not her ex-boyfriend's replies.

Lena believes the recording was deliberately sabotaged, but does not have evidence of this.

The female police officer then tried to convince her to drop the matter, reminding her the rapist had apologised. She said Lena should consider the "impact on his future", and informing Lena that they normally deal with "much more serious cases", Lena says.

When she gathered the courage to ask to do another phone call, it was too late. Her alleged rapist had been arrested and interviewed. Almost a year later, she got a phone call to tell her there was not enough evidence to pursue the matter.

Many women don't report a rape because they fear a harrowing process and a long wait for court, says Carolyn Worth, spokesperson for the Centre Against Sexual Assault Forum. But for others, reporting is fundamental to their recovery.

And the court process is gruelling, with a burden of proof required for a crime which is usually committed in private with no witnesses.

Even if Lena's alleged rapist had been committed to stand trial, most rape reports do not make it that far.

This week a woman unsuccessfully pleaded with a Melbourne judge not to discontinue a prosecution against her former partner, a policeman.

He was facing court on 14 charges, including six charges of rape. But prosecutors chose not to go ahead with a trial in the County Court, telling her the jury needed to be convinced beyond reasonable doubt.

Sarah* stood up in court and told the judge it was "incomprehensible and inexcusable" for the case not to go ahead.

"Justice has not been served," she said in court. "I am shocked and appalled at being denied a fair trial and that a perpetrator of serious crimes walks away free based on a probability rather than a proper trial."

The case included forensic evidence and voice recordings, and that the partner had a violent image of her tattooed on his back

The judge said Sarah was legally bound to accept the prosecutors' application. The former partner is on paid suspension from Victoria Police, and being internally investigated. He was not in court and his lawyers declined to comment.

In court, Sarah was supported by two investigating detectives. Outside the court she said she was concerned her experience and others would deter other women from reporting family violence incidents to police.

"It took me such a long time to report him because he was a police officer and I was afraid," she said.

A paltry or inadequate legal response could embolden men and make them feel they can get away with crimes, says Domestic Violence Victoria chief executive Fiona McCormack.

Lena's mental health disintegrated in the wake of the alleged rape. But every mental health service she approached had at least an eight-week wait for an appointment.

She detailed her harrowing experience in a long letter to the Victorian Government, but got no response. And she complained to the police station where she made the phone call, and the Independent Broad-based Anti-corruption Commission, but was not satisfied with either response.

In a letter, seen by The Age, a senior police officer from the station told Lena that police had worked in accordance with law and police practice. Members had been reminded how to use recorders, with an email sent to staff. No apology was offered.

In response to questions from The Age, the Victoria Police offered "sincere regret and apologies" in relation to the recording error.

"Each step of an investigation, particularly those involving allegations of sexual offences, is weighed against the need to ensure the wellbeing of the victim," a spokesman said in a statement.

Lena wants better funding for mental health support for victims, for it to be an offence for police to use equipment to gather evidence without knowing how to use it properly, and for a support person to be present when victims make recorded phone calls.

Despite everything, she remains optimistic: "I'm hoping that me speaking out will lead to some change and if that happens then I think it will be worth it."

*Names and details have been changed to protect identity.

Lifeline 131114, Safe Steps Family Violence Support: 1800 737 732