Mikaila misses being a mum, a proper mum who runs around after her kids, picks them up when they need a hug, baths them and cooks for them without any help.
The 23-year-old is acutely aware of how precious a mum can be. Her own mum never left her side during a recent month-long hospital stint, sleeping on an uncomfortable chair, doing anything ease her girl's pain.
"Cancer is weakening my bones," Mikaia Brisbane said. "It's scary. I'm getting intense pain relief every couple of hours and honestly I feel guilty to the people around me watching it. I want my life back."
The budding makeup artist, who married her soul mate and has two beautiful children, Indie, 4, and Reef, 2, should have the world at her feet. Yet she finds herself crippled with pain, blogging when she can to show the devastating reality of what stage four cancer can do to a young body.
"Today two years ago my biopsy results came back with the type of sarcoma I have," Mikaila wrote on March 29, when she was still strong enough.
"Today two years ago I collapsed to the ground in tears after being told I have two years to live. Today two years ago I found out I have the most aggressive and rarest form of sarcoma known. Today I'm still alive."
Mikaila's cancer nightmare started in February 2017, when she was on a cruise with her now husband Harley who proposed marriage.
"Over the cruise I noticed that a lump I had found previous was growing rapidly," she said of the growth in her buttock. "As soon as we returned I went to the hospital where they did an ultrasound. An hour later they rang me and said to go to my doctor for results ASAP.
"They said they think it could be a sarcoma but I will have to go for a biopsy to make sure. I knew what a sarcoma was. My dear friend passed away from one not long before."
Alveolar soft part sarcoma is rare. There are 20 cases diagnosed in Australia each year. Surgery is considered the best treatment. Mikaila's primary tumour had spread to her spine, pelvis, lungs, ribs, hip and now skull.
The cancer is taking over my body, my skull is the worst. All I ask for is health, to watch my children grow, this is absolute bullshit.Mikaila Brisbane
Mikaila started treatment and was stable for about six months before scans showed signs of more trouble.
The most recent setback came in February when a tumour in Mikaila's shoulder weakened the bone and she broke her shoulder.
"I'm in the most horrible pain it's excruciating," she said at the time. "Once again this is a big reminder to check for lumps and try to detect cancer early. This is the reality of a stage four cancer patient."
Mikaila posted her words with a harrowing photo of herself laying on her lounge being fed pain relief through a tube. It's one of countless brave posts she shared, hoping to raise awareness and encourage early detection.
Makeup artist Mel Gigliotti couldn't bare to watch her friend suffer. She wanted to raise awareness and help ease the burden as Makaila rests at her Albion Park home, too weak to respond to the messages from well wishers.
Mel enlisted the help of her local gym and a fundraiser has been planned for April 27. F45 Shellharbour gym manager Kerrie Lawrence said when she heard Mikaila's story she didn't hesitate.
"We started planning straight away. It's cancer, it hits close to home for everyone," Kerrie said. "I hate that for the majority of people cancer has touched them, and not the other way around."
F45 Shellharbour gym owners have pledged to match the final tally raised by the members.
For Mikaila this recent setback of the shoulder break has dampened her spirit.
"It has been one of the most excruciating things I have ever experienced," Mikaila said.
"I underwent a very aggressive operation where they were able to successfully remove a tumour from my shoulder and then remove the bone in my arm and shoulder to replace them with fake bones.
"Because of this horrible cancer there's a very high chance I'll be losing my passion as a makeup artist. Things can be unfair in life ... so thank you to everyone's well wishes, support and love. But as you can imagine I've lost a lot of motor skills.
"Please understand why I'm unable to get back to you."