One of the greatest lessons of my life came from a dog. It was Christmas Eve, 1989, and our house was burning to the ground. As we stood in the snow in our jammies, our Newfoundland, Alfie, kept running back towards the house to make sure all the children were out and that everyone was safe. (We were, thankfully.) It was the most selfless, unconditional act of love I'd ever witnessed.
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While hopefully not everyone's experience will be that dramatic, pets can be invaluable at teaching families, especially children, emotional intelligence or EQ - a measure of empathy and the ability to understand and connect with others.
More than intelligence, EQ is the best indicator of a child's likely success in school. In fact, kindergarten teachers have reported that EQ is more important than the ability to read or hold a pencil. Here are five ways in which pets can help children develop their EQ.
By developing empathy
A variety of studies have shown a correlation between attachment to a pet and higher empathy scores. Caring for a pet draws a self-absorbed child away from himself or herself. Empathy also involves the ability to read nonverbal cues - facial expressions, body language, gestures - and pets offer nothing but non-verbal cues.
By teaching responsibility and boosting self-esteem
The old "I'm not getting a pet because I'll end up taking care of it" refrain misses the point. Giving a child age-appropriate tasks - from teaching a toddler to "pet the hamster gently" to asking a 5-year-old to fill a food bowl to letting your young teen walk the dog alone - and offering them positive feedback when they accomplish them, gives kids a feeling of competence that can boost their self-esteem, research says.
By reducing stress
The National Childhood Grief Institute conducted a study using certified golden retrievers in children's support groups. A therapy dog would sit in front of an emotional child and put its head in the child's lap. As the child started petting the dog, you could visibly see the child relax. The study measured the blood pressure readings of the dogs and the children, and the experience lowered the blood pressure of both.
By helping a child learn to read
Really. Reading dramatically expands a child's understanding of the experiences and emotions of others, but learning to read can be stressful. And while reading out loud is critical for literacy, it can be torture for a kid who's intimidated or embarrassed.
The answer? Read to your pet. With an endlessly patient animal, children can go at their own pace and sound out difficult words with no fear of judgment.
By helping children express their emotions
School counsellor Randall Bachman noted in an academic paper that children, when asked whom they would turn to with a problem, regularly named their pets. It can be hard for children to talk with adults about emotions.
That's where a loving animal is invaluable.
THE WASHINGTON POST