This is one of the many tales told by Illawarra parents concerned about bullying in local schools.

Schools are supposed to be one of the safest places for students but some Illawarra parents believe that expectation to be far from reality.

A discussion about bullying and harassment in Illawarra public schools surfaced on a local Facebook community group recently with many parents complaining of the worsening environment in schools.

A Wollongong mum Jane* claims her children have constantly been at the receiving end of bullying.

"My daughter was knocked out and there's a video of the girl walking up to her and knocking her out but nothing was done, no action was taken," she said.

The mother of four said she was shocked to see such violent behaviour from a teenage school girl.

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"There needs to be more lessons in school about bullying and what it does to kids," she said.

Jane was also taken aback when she was told by her children about the threat "I'll stab you" being casually thrown around nowadays.

She said she could not be sure of the intentions behind the words but the very fact that they had become a part of normal school lingo had her worried.

Another Wollongong parent Jessica* spoke of similar fears concerning the safety of her children.

"The bullies generally bully the nice kids, it's unfortunate that kindness is seen as a weakness or sometimes being smart also makes you a target," she said.

Jessica said it was saddening to hear experiences of abuse in school and the effect it had on students' confidence.

"It is going to affect them even in the next steps of their lives. For children who just want to learn, it's beyond unfair," she said.

Jessica believes the problem is layered with multiple issues that need to be addressed.

"Apart from the bullying, children are talking about self harming more than ever, it's an unspoken crisis."

The mother of two said the only way to protect one's self against abuse is to equip students to defuse situations and teach them how to defend themselves.

Jessica said violence was not the answer but if her children ever had to block assault, she would stand by them.

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"I knew my son would be targeted as he's very kind, misses social cues due to having ADHD so he's been taking self defence classes for three years," she said.

Both the parents said they had not received much help from their respective school authorities and teachers when their children reported experiencing bullying.

The Quirky Kid clinic's child psychologist Dr Kimberley O'Brien who researches socioemotional wellbeing among students in the transition from primary to secondary school said the number one reason for referrals was anxiety which is often linked to problems with peer relations.

"A lot of times students don't want to go to school because things aren't going so well and they are often not wanting to admit that they're being bullied because they feel humiliated," she said.

Dr O'Brien said even if bullied students don't talk about it, those situations can be extremely hard for them and can often lead to them resorting to extreme measures.

"Bullying can sometimes be contributing to things like suicide ideation and you think oh gosh that seems like such an extreme response, we could have talked about it so much earlier."

The Austinmer psychologist's advice to bring about a change in the bullying culture in schools is for the school to approach the issue as a whole.

"Instead of name-calling a few students or a certain number of kids getting the dose of intervention, the school as a whole needs to promote inclusivity and talk about what's okay and what is not," Dr O'Brien said.

A NSW Department of Education spokesperson said, "When it comes to bullying of any kind, including online or cyber bullying, our public schools across NSW take a zero-tolerance approach."

Each NSW public school is required to have its own anti-bullying policy, the spokesperson said.

"All students are required to follow the Behaviour Code for Students, which includes being respectful and inclusive and to not bully, harass or intimidate anyone in our schools.

"The first-ever NSW Premier's Respect Awards, which have just opened for nominations across all three school sectors, seek to recognise the large number of students who are displaying respectful behaviour, inclusiveness and community-mindedness in our schools," the spokesperson said.

*Parents' names have been changed

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