Gordie McLeod never saw it coming.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
The Wollongong Hawks' iconic coach felt sick in the stomach after hearing his cherished club had been placed into voluntary administration.
"I'm shell-shocked," the two-time NBL Coach of the Year said.
"I'm gutted, absolutely devastated. The players and coaches are all feeling the same way."
The Hawks are the NBL's last remaining foundation club from the inaugural 1979 season and have fought back from the dead more than once.
But the feeling is this time they are essentially on their own in the fight for survival.
Unless a saviour pops up over the next four weeks, the Hawks will cease to exist, ending a 36-year era of professional basketball in the region.
A born and bred Wollongong boy, McLeod played nine seasons with the club and is one of five players to have his Hawks No 5 jersey retired.
He fulfilled a lifelong dream when he joined Wollongong as coach in 2009 and hoped the club would stick around long after he was gone.
"I'm just trying to deal with the shock of it and all the different emotions," he said.
"You feel angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, like something has been ripped out of you."
Hawks general manager Kim Welch got the coaches, players and office staff together at club headquarters on Monday and broke the bad news.
Owner James Spenceley took part in the meeting via phone from New Zealand.
Never one to quit without a fight, McLeod is clinging to the hope the Hawks will somehow pull through.
"We're all a little groggy and staggered like we've been punched around the ring, but we're not knocked out yet," the 58-year-old said. "We have to find out if there is a future and how do we get there?"
