A South Coast woman who spent five years being abused at the hands of her former husband has said the cost of justice was ongoing trauma for her.
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"The process of going through the legal system was probably on par with going through the abuse that I suffered to be honest," she said.
While the woman thanked the police and prosecutors she had dealt with, she said retelling her story again and again meant that she was unable to put the abuse behind her.
"Reiterating what had happened to me, having to constantly think about it, the extended period during COVID drew it out, you don't get a chance to finalise it and that, to me, was just as bad as being abused."
Today, that woman was able to close the door on a horrific chapter in her life.
Her abuser was sentenced to eight years in prison, with a five year non parole period, for three charges of sexual intercourse without consent, one charge of choking without consent and possessing child abuse material.
The man was the woman's husband and two years after they were married, the woman was diagnosed with cancer which required substantial medical intervention.
Wollongong District Court heard that previously, the pair were a loving and happy couple, but after the cancer treatment, the man began to abuse the woman.
The first signs were when the man smashed a glass door and pinned the woman against a wall. A court order was imposed on the man however this did not stop further, and more serious acts of violence.
The court heard that on four occasions the man continued to have sex with the woman despite her asking him to stop.
These attacks became more violent, and included an instance of choking and shaking.
These instances of abuse left the woman feeling as if she only existed to meet someone's sexual desires. In a victim impact statement, the woman said she felt "worthless", "treated as an object" and subsequently suffered from panic attacks and nightmares.
"I wake up shaking and crying, the type of crying that comes from the depths of your soul."
The abuse had taken an emotional and financial toll, with the woman only able to work casually after the attacks.
"Some days I just can't face the world," she said.
"Abuse is like a scar, they never go away but they fade."
In May 2021, the woman reported what had occurred to police.
In the course of the investigation, police uncovered phones, USBs, and discs belonging to the man that contained child pornography, including animated images involving sex with children.
In sentencing the man, Judge Andrew Haesler said the man abused his former wife at a time of vulnerability in an "exercise of coercive power".
"Men cannot behave as this offender did," Judge Haesler said.
"In committing these offences put his own sexual needs above the health and wellbeing of his wife at a time of particular vulnerability."
During the course of court proceedings, the man pleaded guilty to the charges, but Judge Haesler found the man continued to "victim blame".
Judge Haesler imposed an aggregate sentence of eight years, with a non parole period of five years. With time already served, the man will be eligible for release from April, 2027.
The woman said when writing her statement she thought she wanted an apology or to see remorse, but she had heard it all before.
"I want finality. I want to close the door on a chapter of my life I no longer want to think about."
The woman said in her experience, society needed to start asking a new question.
"It takes a lot of courage to stand up and I think that women who stand up are very brave, and I think we need to stop asking why we stay and start asking why these abusers abuse us."
Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732.
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