A man who was raped by former Illawarra school teacher Gaye Grant as a child has stood up to her in court, detailing how her persistent abuse has caused profound damage in the decades since.
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He had sought from Grant the support he was not getting at home, but she used the trust he placed in her to sexually abuse him for two years.
Grant, now 76, was jailed at Wollongong District Court on Tuesday for a minimum of three years and four months, having pleaded guilty to the offence of maintaining an unlawful sexual relationship with a child.
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Grant was a lay teacher employed at St Paul's Catholic Primary School in Albion Park when she began to abuse the victim.
In a statement he read to the court, the victim described how Grant was "like the Pied Piper, the cool teacher" but she used him like a toy.
The man - now a husband and father - outlined the significant physical and psychological impacts Grant's offending upon him continued to have.
"I still to this day have nightmares about this period in my life," he said.
Mental illness led to him losing his job of 38 years, he said, and physical manifestations of his trauma forced him to give up much-loved activities.
"I live with permanent pain," he said.
The man said he endured a long battle with drugs and now alcohol, and had been diagnosed with complex personality disorder.
But there was some hope, as he said: "I'm a survivor and I'm proud I've lived to tell my story".
A document of agreed facts outlines 12 specific incidents of sexual abuse, but these are representative of many more occasions on which abuse occurred.
It began with Grant - who was married with children - encouraging the boy to fondle her breasts, and progressed to sexual intercourse, which first occurred when the boy was still in primary school.
The abuse occurred at Grant's home, at the school and on a camping trip.
Grant told the boy she loved him and coached him on what to say if her husband discovered them together.
As the victim entered high school and matured, he realised what was happening was not normal or right, and he began to distance himself.
He then ended their encounters, which prompted Grant to write a note to him in which she said words close to: "[Victim], I apologise for upsetting you. Can we still be together? I still love you and miss you. Love, Gaye OOOXXX".
The victim told a friend what had happened, and also disclosed this abuse in confession at church - but was told to pray and do penance.
In recent years he told his wife and later his parents - although he felt they were more concerned with their standing in the Catholic community - and then went to police.
In June 2021, phone conversations between the man and Grant were captured in which Grant said she took her physical ailments as penance for what she did.
"Please don't do anything terrible to me," she told the victim.
She also said: "If I could turn back time nothing would ever happen", adding that she had not intended to hurt him.
Grant also told him she did not know why she did what she did.
In a later police interview, Grant admitted to sexual intercourse with the victim "but not as many times as he's made out" and said she did not encourage him to have sex with her.
In sentencing Grant, Judge Andrew Haesler said her crime was a "very serious example" of this offence.
He took into account the victim impact statement, which he said "one could not helped but be moved by".
Judge Haesler noted Grant had committed no offences before or since her offending against this victim, and referees described her as a "kind, selfless and loving" mother and grandmother.
He also outlined her poor physical health, and a psychiatric opinion that while Grant did not have a sexual interest disorder, she likely experienced significant anxiety around sex owing to matters in childhood and being educated by nuns in the 1950s.
The probability she would reoffend was assessed as low and time in custody would be more onerous for her.
Judge Haesler said there was clear evidence Grant accepted responsibility for her crime, but there was none to show she had insight into the impact of her offending.
The delay in the matter coming to light meant Grant had not suffered the community criticism her crimes deserved, nor lost her job or her liberty, but it did mean she lost the opportunity to be dealt with when sentences were much lower for such crimes.
The offence Grant pleaded guilty to, and its maximum sentence of life imprisonment, apply retrospectively.
Judge Haesler made a significant finding of special circumstances, which gave Grant a longer parole period.
He sentenced her to six years and nine months' imprisonment with a non-parole period that expires in April 2026.
She will become eligible for release a few months before her 80th birthday.
- Support is available for those who have experienced sexual violence. Call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for 24-hour support. Crisis support is available from Lifeline on 13 11 14. If someone is in danger, call 000.
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Natalie Croxon
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
Reporter at the Illawarra Mercury, mostly covering social affairs. Previously of the Bendigo Advertiser, Northern Daily Leader and Quirindi Advocate. Our Watch award winner.
