Someone said to me on Friday that Wollongong's population really punches above its weight when it comes to reality TV winners.
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And that might be true, if someone were bothered to look it up and do the numbers.
Tonight we may be about to crown a new ambassador, this time Australia's favourite agriculture-related TV dating show.
If you've been living under a Spring Hill slag pile for the past several weeks, Olivia Benic from Wollongong has made it all the way to the final episode of The Farmer Wants a Wife, the one where the farmer decides if he wants a wife.
And this Sunday the show comes to Wollongong, as the amorous agriculturalist comes to meet the fam.
Questions, there are many. Five, I can answer.
1. Can Wollongong add Reality TV Hotspot to its other clam to fame as Drive-Through Pioneer?
The Gong might have had the first drive-through bank, and the first drive-through dry-cleaner. And yes, many country boys have found their wife to be in Wollongong. At the North Gong, to be precise, or whatever they call they nightclub next to the Illawarra this year.
But never before has the farmer found his best girl through this particular agriculture-related TV dating show.
From memory, there was Laura who won the "Matty" series of The Bachelor - she claimed to be from somewhere in Sydney but this winner was a Gong girl for shizzle.
Then there was Demelza who won a TV modelling competition at age 16, which was cool, except for how she had to apologise for bullying other contestants, not as cool.
And that lovely Cyrus from Dapto who won the X-Factor a few years back.
But fan fave has to be Michael Theo who starred in Love on the Spectrum - though while it was "reality", it wasn't really a competition, and he didn't have to lie or bully anyone, so does it count?
For as we have seen, lies and make-believe are the core of Reality TV.
2. Who lies - who doesn't?
Our Farmer Wants a Wife farmer left it until the second-last episode to tell the ladies he's taken a job with the public service in Canberra and would be leaving the farm.
After the ladies had spent two months living on a farm, trying to prove how much they ay, wanted to be there and bee, were good at farm stuff.
It would have been a completely different sack of spuds if they had to demonstrate they could get the office coffee order accurately, master the latest buzzwords popular on the seventh floor, and work out what the boss wants before they even say it.
Former Farmer Wants a Wife? APS5 Band Departmental Officer Expresses Interest in a Partner? Not watching.
The miracle is how well Olivia seemed to take the news that it was a lie. A people-pleaser, this one. Maybe she could work out what the boss wants before they say it.
But! Olivia has also been caught out being, how shall we say it, a little bit Trumpy with the truth when it comes to Former Farmer Matt (the Former).
It took until the big fancy dinner at Darling Harbour (yep, that's where country boys would take their main squeezes for a fancy do) for Annabelle to take the truth and spit it out like a mouthful of flies.
Olivia had in fact been sneaking extra time with Matt in the farmhouse bubble - where time alone is a currency hotter than a balloon of horse in Long Bay.
Get this: after the others had gone to bed sometimes she would see him watching the TV news and go and watch it with him, and talk about things. Talk!
And if that's not enough, sometimes they would be the first ones up at sparrow's and would hang out and chat over a cup of tea. Tea! Chat!
It was enough to spark a barney round the function centre table at the National Maritime Museum. How can Olivia ever be trusted again? Will she want to watch the news and drink tea other times as well?
Seriously: against the huge lie of whether the Former is a Farmer, Olivia's name is as fair dinkum as John Proctor.
3. Have we seen it coming?
One farmer left the show because it was clear he and one lady had the hots for each other didn't care much for the others. So he threw her in the back of the ute and drove off into the sunset only to realise the show was filmed at his farm, turn around, and head back again.
If Olivia wins - and we must stress that's an if, we have no confirmation of whether she does or not - it's not going to be a shock. She's been pashing the medium-ranking agricultural officer since the second episode.
Yes, there have been spoilers, but we're not interesting in doing that, or listening to them much.
Although it's something of a coincidence that the other couple about which rumours abound is also on this Sunday, the first of two final episodes.
But the penny dropped last episode.
Then, after Matt left the fancy dinner to comfort Olivia by the water's edge he was worried. "I just hope that tonight didn't put a nail in the coffin of both relationships at the same time," he said, as if he preferred vampires.
But then he told Olivia "I can't imagine losing you at this point - I think it would break me". That seems pretty clear - unless he's lying about that as well.
4. What does Matt like about her?
Matt showed his true colours early. Dazzled by Olivia's electric blue dress and what it barely covered, he praised her "bubbly" personality. He's trying to be a thoroughly decent dude and after meeting his parents we see where it came from.
Yes it's boring to be earnest but it's not often you see great behaviour on these animal-husbandry-related knockout dating competition TV shows.
It wasn't long before Olivia had him sitting on a swing with her and playing a bit of the old tonsil hockey. For Matt, who hasn't strayed far from home and had finished sowing wild oats by the tender age of 23, this really buttered his biscuit.
Olivia has appeared to be a pretty decent person on this show, and likes to keep it sunny. (Not according to her one remaining rival Annabelle, though, who is cranky about who gets more attention. But it's probably time Annabelle was told she's dreaming.) At dinner Annabelle followed her lamb rack with a spack attack. Olivia was not down for the conflict and did the Harold Holt.
We couldn't tell whether she laughed or cried, and later told Matt she just didn't want Annabelle to be angry at him. It's just better if she's not angry, she reasoned.
Former Farmer Matt recognised this. He, who has spent half of this show trailing after upset women so he can look into their eyes, intently then say some nice things, is a similar animal.
He must like Olivia's babytalk too, because a deleted scene that just showed up on Seven's website had her going full googoogaga while - you guessed it - sitting on a swing reading him a letter she wrote. Viewers don't so much, so most of it is cut.
Some of Olivia's best work has been done on a swing, and it remains to be seen whether they head down to MacCabe Park while in Wollongong to test out the apparatus.
5. Will they ever live on a farm?
Let's say yes. Olivia came on this show looking for adventure and won't get much of that in Canberra. Sure, they'll be celebrities and might get free tickets to the National Library but Olivia would have already had more adventures at Wollongong High than Canberra could offer. Eventually they'll have to go somewhere.
Plus, the Former seems like too decent a bloke to spend too long within cooee of the chair warmers and cube dwellers in the Canberra office world.
Olivia will keep finding reasons to duck an hour up the road to Matt's parents' actual farm in Bookham. She'll chop wood, cook chops, chop the heads of chooks, chuck the chooks some chaff.
Eventually Matt will realise she's been spending more time out there than in their northern suburban townhouse with proximity to public transport and shopping centres.
She's even been volunteering to clean up the Bookham rest stop on the Hume, to get it back to its former glory of all those five-star reviews two years.
All this time apart would really stretch the relationship were it not for the fact Matt works late most days and doesn't notice. Is it because Olivia wants some company? Is it because his dad is an even better listener than Matt? Is because of mum's tough love common sense? Is it because it's even quieter out there than in Canberra?
Matt will spend hours coming to grips with this, before he remembers what the show was called when they met.
But first, of course, he has to pick her tonight.
The story so far: The Mercury's recaps of Farmer Wants a Wife
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Ben Langford
Senior journalist writing on the environment. Opinion columnist, independent. We rely on your news tips so please, don't be shy to let us know what's going on.
Senior journalist writing on the environment. Opinion columnist, independent. We rely on your news tips so please, don't be shy to let us know what's going on.
